I guess it is pretty late and I have to work in…oh say about five hours, but I had a good time. I went to Nocturna with Xtian to listen to their new format. So, to be accurate, I should have said Noctronica. Which is cool because instead of playing goth ethereal for 75% of the time, they played industrial/electronic music for 75% of the time. MUCH better. It was like dmf except with booze and better … well all around better atmosphere. I guess that isn’t hard to accomplish though. 
Xtian was about 30 min late meeting me, but the time just slipped by. So many weird ….thinky…type things happened this week. I have to process them. Usually this processing happens by talking to my sweet darling, but since he is gone I have to mull them over myself. Not that I mind. It gives me a chance to process them, and more importantly it gives me something to talk about with Tim on the long ride back to Madison tomorrow night. (he is driving here after work to pick my sorry ass up, and then drive BACK to Madison the same night). And yes. He is crazy.
Still. Today was hecktic “to the max”. I had that phone interview with MATC followed by an exercise I was timed on and had to email back within a certain time frame. I have decided that since this is the fifth position like this that I have applied for…if i don’t get it, then I am not going to pursue it anymore. While I am a good candidate … always, I am never good enough. I think it is because I don’t have have a Masters or seven years of actual experience (as opposed to my one year). The job btw, is basically a native American advisor/support person. I like the idea of this job, I like the idea that I could give back and contribute to others (as others have done for me), but I just think…it might not be right. As weird as that is to admit….it might not be right. I will take it as a sign from our heavenly lord and move on. To what? I don’t know. I guess that is what this whole experience of moving and starting over is — and adventure waiting to be unwrapped. I just hope that I will be able to recognize that door when it when it opens.
Ugh. I have a big zit on my chin. I *hate* those. It just made an appearance in the last couple of hours and I have feeling it will be like that old statement of visitors and fish.
Today I also got a the check for the down payment on the house. That is without a doubt the biggest amount of money I have ever had in my pocket at one time. I felt like I needed an armored vehicle to drive me home. I was glad that there was no problems in procuring it, despite me not doing any real financial mumbo jumbo since I have been married.
Tomorrow is my last day at Northwestern. I am going to miss it. They are going to have a party for me at 3:00. I will be tired… (as I am beginning to be now), but hopefully it will dull the sadness. I just wish I had something good to wear instead of Tim’s lame Vampire the Masquerade T-Shirt and a skirt. What’s worse is that he has two of them, and they are the ONLY two clean t-shirts left. I have a hard decision in front of me tomorrow…. either Malkavian or the straight up vampire (with a woman with big teeth on the front). And no doubt there is going to be someone taking pictures. Heh. I might be able to prevent that though. No one will remember since I am the one that usually takes the pictures. That reminds me though that I have to download the farewell party pics sometime tomorrow as well. I will do it while I am cleaning my computer.
Today was a ruff day. I drank more than I intended to do last night, and felt worse than I wanted to today. Why is it, that when you are feeling your worst all you can think about is what an idiot you were “drunk talking.” What’s worse is, the usual advice of “Oh don’t worry about it, everyone was drinking,” doesn’t apply because my two victims don’t drink. Ack.
So, the party went well, thanks to everyone that came out. We really appreciated it. I can’t believe it went on until 4.00 in the morning. We got tons of packing and cleaning up done so that now the apartment is a little bit more managable. The sucky thing is I am running out of boxes. This packing up everything, absolutely everything, really sucks my box resource down. I have like five boxes left and some more packing to do. While it is the odd’s and ends now, they add up…I am going to have to start bringing a box or two home on the train for the next two days. Either that or buy some and I HATE buying boxes.
I called my Mom tonight and had a chat. The first time in a long time. I feel bad for my brother Josh. I wish he would see some worth in himself and … try.
Tim left late tonight. I bet he won’t get back to Madison until like 1.30 or so. Poor darling. I miss him a lot right now. The distance is starting to take it’s toll. I just want to be around my darling for unlimited amounts of time. To get a hug, a kiss or an ‘i love you’ whenver I want too. To just …”be” with Tim. Only three more nights, including tonight.
I should go to bed. I am tired and didn’t get much sleep last night or today.
Mischa stopped by while I was shooting some pool with Eric and Kate at Deliliah’s.
I went to the Dr. today to take care of this “nose” thing. I am sick of it. She kept asking me if I was depressed and what medication I am on. I said no to both. I am not depressed and I am not taking ANY medication. None. Zilch. She didn’t seem to believe it.
Anyway, I walked away with nose spray, free samples of Allegra and some acumen (penicillian). I hope it works, and I hope that is the real cause of my insomnia. I want to sleep. To sleep deeply and be recharged. I know it is a stressful time, but I honestly don’t feel *that* stressed. Really. If any thing I am stressed because I am sick and because I am so tired and can’t sleep.
On some good news, I got a call from the job at MATC! They wanted a real interview next Tuesday, but that is impossible. I suggested a telephone interview and they agreed. Yah! They also said that they were doing that for another out of state candidate, and then the second interview came around I wouldn’t have any more issues with it. Cool. At least getting an interview makes me feel like I am not that big of a loser.
I think I am going to sneak out of here a tad early today. I am tired.
I finished Harry Potter … just now. Huh. That ending was….well I guess an ending. Tim and I did a good dent in packing this weekend. I think we have all the boxes we are going to need for this little adventure. I have, counting today, eight days of work left.
Do you remember when you were young, the copious amounts of excitement that would course through your veins for special events? I remember burning with every fibre of my being, willing…willing my mother to let us go to the county fair. The ripe possibility of going and what I was going to do once I was there. Then the nights I couldn’t sleep because of the fields trips to the Twin Cities Science Museum, the Minnesota Zoo, and Walker Art Museum. The one time I got to go Noah’s Ark with Kinship folk (a big brother/sister type organization), camping for a week (Kinship), and horseback riding. I felt there was nothing more important than these exciting events and they were surely going to change my life because I was on the edge of experiencing supreme happiness. The possibility. The hope.
Since I have “grown up” I feel that the things that excitement me now, are actually things that make me nervous and stressed. Do I get excited? No, I get stressed. Do I get consumed with this boundless energy of fun opportunities for seemingly special events? No, not really. Maybe it is because I can do whatever I want now, and when you are young you don’t have much experience, so EVERYTHING seems exciting. The last time I was really really really excited was an hour before I got married.
But. This house and moving, and leaving the job I like to a new city…is still on hold. But the dam is starting to break. The house is a very persuasive force. Trickles of ideas are starting to form. The master bedroom will be our den/office. The second bedroom, our room. The girls bedroom the guest room. Making new covers for the papasan and ottoman. Cleaning the gutters. The dog. The washer and dryer. Being able to jump and down in my living room for a long and loud as I want to. Being with Tim on a daily basis. Wondering if we will actually do something to commerate our fifth year anniversary (other than getting a house)…as in, where are we getting dinner. To have a clean slate….waiting for the future.
We made it level 8, and the terrain looks really cool.
Party Yo. I have the flyers, and sent the email to most of the emails I could scrounge together while at work. I know I missed Marty, and Katherine, but I just can’t find the emails. Be kind enough to let them know and others I may have missed.
For lunch today I am going to meet Greg and we will go to Norris.
I decided to take tomorrow off to get some much needed work done and catch up with my personal time scale of what should be done by the end of this weekend. I need that damned house CLEAN or at the very least vacuumed, otherwise I am afraid that Matt will have a siezure upon entering (because of his cat allergy). Normally we have the cat hair under control thanks to swiffering and vacuuming, but as I have mentioned in previous posts it is just plain out of control right now.
I got a great letter from Texas Virginia yesterday, complete with a CD. I was tempted to burn one right back but I felt my obiligations to trying to clean up the bedroom and pack a couple boxes, and eventually read Harry Potter was stronger. I DID pack 5-7 boxes though.
Yeah, I need a day off, regardless of the guilt trip I get from a certain coworker. (wtf?)
I would start out by asking if anyone is really interested in my day to day babble…but I stopped myself because I know someone in Sweden is. Thank you swedish person.
The power must have went out yesterday because when I got home everything digital was wrong, including the phone. It sucks that I had to set the new message. Hearing my voice is not a favorite thing of mine, especially since we hardly ever answer the phone (most of the time it’s telemarketer’s).
Eric provided me with paper copies of the invitation. Yah! Now I can hand em out and feel like a promotor … for myself? Eh, I won’t think about that tiny aspect. I like to think of it as a party to see everyone Chicago (with two madison exceptions) one last time…together. It won’t be the last time I see you (evil chuckle).
I got my hair dyed a dark brown. It looks good, but itches like hell. It was comforting to find out how many women out there have allergic reactions to hair dye, but continue to do it. I intended for that to be my last time, the brown I got is a tad darker than my orginal hair color…but as we all know, hair dye fades. Hopefully it will be a good blend. As for now, I think I look tons better. It’s very cute. I also monitored the woman cut an inch off at the ends. They were really terrible looking, I had never had that problem before, but I guess that is what bleaching can do it. Ick.
My coworker lent me Harry Potter. I am a reading it now.
So, the person we thought we found to be my replacement didn’t work out. It all came down to the reference check and that only one called back. Holly even called her to inform her of this and give her a chance to have word with her references (this after the number she put for two out of three, was the wrong number), but we haven’t heard from her either. This is an obvious sign of disinterest, I think. Maybe her current job offered her more incentive? In any case, that is no way to interview.
Which means we are back to looking again. I feel bad for Holly because now she has only two weeks to find someone. I would stay longer but I did put in my resignation date, and..well, I won’t be in the city anymore. We went through the maybe pile yesterday and weeded them out to more potentials, then Holly took the ones I did and weeded it down some more to seven with four of them being good. I think we are going employ phone interviews to acertain interest and skillz before bringing them in.
Last night was Stargate Monday. Woo. I love it.
I came into work late this morning (an hour and half) because I was awoken by the lightening IN my room, to go and shut the windows. It was scary how close it was. I had only one brave cat keep me company and that was Innzer. The other two bitches were no doubt cowering under the bed like the chicken shits they are. I am leaving at 5:00 today for an appointment too.
Tim and Laura are leaving Chicago…
… but before they go, we have to send them off in style.
Tim and Laura’s Big, Bad-Ass Send Off
(AKA “Please leave quietly before the cops arrive”)
1225 West Chase Ave, #B3
Chicago, IL 60626
9:30 PM
SATURDAY, July 26th
for more information email hadjare@wazika.net
BYOSAOD: bring your own snacks and/or drinks
[Special thanks to the Incredible Eric P for putting this together. It made me laugh for ten minutes straight.]
I put together a little montage of the house since I realize many of you didn’t want to join snapfish. You can view it here: http://www.wazika.net/hadjare/tulane.htm
