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I was going to watch another movie tonight from Netflix, but as it started my husband paused on his way to the kitchen to look at the screen. Once he realized I was watching The Ruins, which had just started, he said “I wanted to see that too.” Sigh. Then a little tiff almost started about how I bulldoze my way through movies and no, no it’s fine he doesn’t need to see it anyway.

I turned it off and ended up watching a Hallmark movie anyway — and it wasn’t even that good. I didn’t even catch the name of it. The real purpose was to paint my toenails a nice deep red and hope that it will last a long time, because in the midst of doing so I realized it was much more difficult than it should have been. I later informed Tim that this was the last pedicure I am giving myself until after August. I think that means I will have to have it done by a professional sometime in between? But… you know I am really shy about that sort of stuff. I’ll probably just end up trying to get it off myself with some polish remover and hope for the best.

Today I watched my friend’s son Cullen for a couple hours. It was a tricky time — 11-2 (with some of that her being around for) because that is “naptime.” Morella was ready for a nap just as they came and was finishing up an early lunch. However company gave her a second and third wind. Times are changing for watching these two kids together. It used to be that Morella would just sort of follow him around the house with a concerned look on her face that he was going to steal the silver. Eventually she would leave him alone and they would do their own thing. This time, no no no — Morella had to interact. I had to remove the doll stroller to stop them from fighting. Then Morella insisted on giving Cullen hugs and cuddles — none of which he wanted. Therefore she ambushed him with hugs at least four times – three of which resulted in both of them crashing to the floor. For an hour, I took them both outside to run around and stay out of each other’s wispy hair. Both kids got very dirty and I apologized to Hilary later over a delicious toasted sub. Anyway. I’m not sure what to think of this affectionate Morella — I love it and yet I wish she would do it more with ME instead of other tots, cats and stuffed animals.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Morella drooled some more, I picked up around the place and then played with her in her room until Tim came home and I could make dinner. I had been sneaking in a few minutes at the computer when I heard her in the hallway clapping and looking at me. She had been playing her little piano in her room and needed to make sure I heard. It melted me heart, and so I dropped the computer and went to play with her. I colored and she worked on her funcube, and then later the stereo. She also made sure to stand on a few things. She love standing on things and balancing. She’s like a little Chinese acrobat.

Oh oh, and at one point I asked her if she needed a diaper. She nodded yes, grabbed her crotch and then ran to the bedroom and started patting the changing pad. I was shocked! I picked her up and she did not utter one single protest as I changed a pretty wet diaper. This never happens! It also seems like she is learning and making up signs for things super fast these days. A short list of signs she is doing now:

–all done (hands like turning a door knob)
–hungry (patting mouth)
–down (pointing down)
–bedtime (blowing kisses — she picked that up from her grandparents and apparently that means bedtime…)
more – (index finger pointed into opposite palm)
pick me up – (raising arms up)

Tim also said she has a sign for bath – pretend splashing

I think we are going to work on ‘drink’ next… or maybe the thirsty one? I don’t know. Maybe we’ll do both and see what she picks up first.

Anyway. Tomorrow is the day for reals…we hopefully get to see if Crouton is a boy or a girl. Tim is taking a half day and the appointment is at 3:00. Crouton sure is active — right now we are going through the stage where the movements aren’t all cute and cuddly. It’s the being poked and prodded in my insides…where it feels like there shouldn’t be poking and prodding going on. And they aren’t kicks as much as s/he is flipping slowly and I can feel the entire movement occur — which can feel weird. My stomach has gotten a lot harder and Morella has noticed the belly a few times. She seems to like taking care of other babies and her dolls, so I’m hoping she’ll be a great big sister.

Okay. Potty and then bed. Look how late it is again!

It’s weird to see the belly jump around — and even weirder to feel it. These aren’t kicks, these movements are the kid completely turning around.

Tim got Cinnamon Life cereal, frosted mini wheats and Nutty Nuggets. All good choices. The dish soap is an aromatherapy lavender scent. When you hand wash all dishes, it’s gotta be something of a pleasure right?

I went to the post office today and finally got out a package I had been working on for over a year. Stopped at three little parks on the way there and home again with Morella who was, once again Crabby Pants extraordinaire and really, really wanted to go outside once she got up from her nap. This after we had gone out to the mall so I could buy a new purse to replace the ripped up one from the slide of doom last week. I ended up getting one from the Boston Store. They had a “steal” on a Fossil one for $50 dollars super on on clearance…but I found one for $21 that will do the same things and I don’t have to worry about the leather getting ruined by spilled milk or whatever else it is I get covered in by the end of the day. I also got Morella some new onsies (from JC Penny) that are tagless, and some for the new neice. Morella picked out a pink and white fluffy dog — ha ha she doesn’t know that it’s not for her. However, since she threw two huge tantrums about it today and was super blissfully happy and content to leave the store with it firmly in her arms, I have let her play with it. It also went to the post office with us. What a little nutcase.

Seriously though, why does she glom onto stuffed animals and dolls with such ferocity?

Anyway. She was drooling all day today. Morella never drools, so I am fairly certain teething is the culprit. Can I say she was being a picky eater too or does that get old? We had Salisbury steak (from the box), mashed potatoes (instant) and steamed broccoli and asparagus for dinner with on sale cheesecake for dessert. Tim said it’s really good.

We watched Live Free or Die Hard while we worked on pet projects and now it’s like super late and I should really go to bed. So should Crouton…and probably Tim. Tim goes to bed when I do…and I go to bed when he does. It’s like we are ….what is that word when you are each others check system? Gah, I’m tired. I’m not making sense anymore.

Today was kind of a crappy day. I mean, I am grateful for any day that I have with family but you know some days are worse than others. I made cinnamon rolls for this mornings playgroup meeting and they were … way too buttery. I should have known to cut the butter in half, but I was in a hurry and followed the recipe. The frosting was good though…

Morella was crabby and melted down on average, every 15 minutes about *something* all day with the exception of her two hour nap. A nap that I thankfully got a good 45 minutes of before she started her crabbiness again. The only time she didn’t cry was when we went outside to play while dinner was cooking. Dinner. The dinner that ended up being thrown away whole. We have come to terms that we cannot cook a chicken in a bag. I tried it again and failed miserably. I think part of the reason is that we were going by the cooking guidelines of meat and cooking it until the temp reached 180. Well online, many sites said if you want a rubber chicken cook it to that temp but if you want a good chicken then cook it to 160 and check for doneness (pink). Sigh. From now on, I am only going to make whole chicken in a crock pot. Granted, I’ve only ever cooked cornish hens in a crock pot….but it’s so hard to fail with crock pots, you know?

I was so disappointed and angry about dinner that I wanted to throw the entire bird through the window. Then I thought maybe there were some pregnancy hormones at play making it worse than it was…and of course that upset me even more Tim tried to cheer me up about it but in the end deemed it unusable and threw it away. I mean, it didn’t even look like chicken meat and cutting it was like cutting through fabric. Therefore for dinner I had a bag leftover Easter M&M’s, a snicker’s ice cream bar and a vanilla pudding cup. The dinner of champs I know. Morella had sausage and peas. I would have eaten the same thing for dinner except I was still too angry and didn’t have an appetite. Tim later went grocery shopping which was nice as I was able to watch some TV and catch up on the computer. He even put the food away! What a nice husband.

This past weekend we bought Morella and Crouton a Chariot double bike trailer. We had been researching which one to get for a couple of weeks, and now that the weather is better we made the plunge. We had some difficulty getting the helmet to finally fit Morella’s miniature head, but ingenious use of padding on my part made it happen. So this year she gets it all to herself and next year, Crouton will be ready for it too! Hurray! Then we can go on those family biking trips Tim and I talked about before we had kids.

Speaking of Crouton, I am able to see the bottom of my belly button now. You see, I had a belly button hernia as a kid and had to have it surgically “fixed” which resulted in a very deep “innie.” It’s kind of funny, because Morella has a little bit of an outie — nothing like I had though. Still, it’s so strange to see the bottom of it. I wonder how much futher it’s going to come out. How much shallower it’s going to get.

Oh hey the photos link is working again. It was broken for a few days there because everything was switched over to another server. Well you heard me complain about computer problems. Gosh, it seems like the last week has been full of mood swings! It’s like my patience level is at flood level and the slightest thing can push me over into Angryville. Just angry like helpless angry not like I want to smash things …..more like talk your ear off about it.

Last night I went over to Hilary’s and hung out while working on some doubles I got for my Mom — writing on the back. Tim had told me earlier that I should get out of the house because I was getting super depressed by how much my back hurt, and how nothing ever gets clean around here or stays that way for more than two minutes. I stayed until 11 before I went home and probably could have stayed longer just talking. It was nice to just hang out with someone who was doing something else and talk when we felt like it, over a variety of subjects. You know, it was just …. relaxing. Now if I could just find another friend who likes to play video games like that with me other than Tim.

Okay. I had put “fun cereal” on the grocery list, so I am going to see what Tim decided was fun cereal. Also, I put dish soap on the list and I an anxious to know what kind he got. Am I getting excited about home products? Sheesh.

Oh yeah. Morella and the worm. So last Friday there we are enjoying the glorious weather in the back yard. Morella wandering around doing her thing and me turning the garden over. There were lots of worms, so thinking back to my friend Jen’s stories about worms and her son I saw this as ‘teachable moment’ and picked up a worm to show Morella. She looked down at the pink squiggly thing with curiosity and picked it up. I told her it was a worm, that it lived in the dirt and was kind of slimy. At that point she studied the worm and then … started stretching it. Like pulling it apart and would have probably ripped it in half had I not screamed like a little girl in shock and disgust. I scared her a little bit but tried to change the subject, fully aware that I probably just scarred her for life. I informed Tim later that evening that he has a lot of work ahead of him in accumulating Morella into the world of creepy crawlies. I just can’t hack it.

(I just noticed the grubby face…man kids get dirty fast. I wonder what she was eating….and no she doesn’t go to bed all grubbified).

Gah, I’m in the double digits! Tomorrow it will be only 96 days to go. Yikes!

No not really.

Hey I called my Mom because I was kind of lonely tonight and chatted with her. She was in good spirits so that was nice, and actually wanted to hear cute stories about Morella. I also had a mini fight with my brother regarding my loser brother and my Dad and his wife who sort of left him. Sigh. I feel so bad for the both of them — Barb and my Dad. What a crummy situation.

It’s pouring outside, and it’s going to be thunderstorms for two more days. Ugh. I hope our basement holds up. I should also bring the starter plants out of the rain. I hope they aren’t washed out or drowning by tomorrow. This gardening thing shouldn’t be that hard, and yet it is.

Morella was a sweetheart today. She resisted the afternoon nap for an HOUR today but Tim and I were both tired so we outlasted her. We had gone to the Isthmus Green Day event at the Monona Terrace hoping for a good Machinery Row Coupon and were totally disappointed. No coupons. False advertising. I did get a nice LED night light though for the bathroom, and two little hippy/german type wooden toys for Morella. Other than that, it was a snooze. But back to my point, Morella was tired from that and fell asleep on the way home (just like yesterday) for ten minutes. She transferred to her crib okay and five minutes later was up and at em. Yesterday, that was the only nap she took all day. I was afraid the same thing was going to happen to today. Being an almost one and halfer is too young to give up naps.

I am really annoyed. Like really. For one, blogger won’t tell me when and if the post is published. I am getting “it’s taking longer than expected…” and it won’t upload photos at all. Now it could be two things. One, blogger had issues with FTPing last week. And two, so did my domain and everything was transferred to a new server. Once I corrected the IP address, I was able to publish my blog, including the pictures. However, the pictures were actually from a work around (meaning it’s published someplace else first). So really all that happened is text is working but the images are now not…make sense?

Good because it doesn’t make sense to me. Something is fucking up in between the two and it’s really got me agitated. I hate hate hate hate hate problems like this. It’s not rocket science! I should be able to post crap, and have it publish. It’s straightforward? Why do I keep having to trouble shoot these things? The last big troubleshoot like this was back at the end of December and then it was bloggers fault. I don’t care who is at fault, I just want things to work and to stop being do fucking technical. I am really tempted to switch to Wordpress or something else where apparently these problems don’t happen as much. It’s like I am being punished for hosting my own stuff instead of putting it on blogspot.

This day was just really crappy, blogging problems aside. The park we went today sucked for the kids. I went down the slide because Morella kept insisting on climbing the playtower of doom by herself and my purse caught on the top of the slide and nearly strangled me — in the process ripping my new purse in half and leaving a nasty red bruise on my neck. The doctor appointment for Morella was apparently yesterday, I found out as I was there today. They were able to fit us in. Morella’s ears are perfect, she now weighs 19lbs and 1 oz, and she gets one more ear infection before we think about an ENT referral. She assured me that both she and the ENT would say that the likilihood of her getting more ear infections is low because we are heading into spring and summer season.

Guess who has a runny nose, is sneezing a ton….crap, who is apparently still awake at 8.32 … didn’t have good naps today, and didn’t eat much dinner? Morella. Hilary says maybe she had allergies or is teething. I think she is probably getting a cold because it’s just the way my day is going.

I don’t know. In some ways the day was okay. Trader Joes with her was fun. A clean bill of health was nice. I got my flonase prescription refilled. The park after the doom tower was abandoned was okay, I was chastized for some admin decisions I made regarding a listserv …. and yet I feel down and rotten and … why can’t things just WORK!? I don’t want to have to figure out how to fix it. I want it to be fixed right now because it’s supposed to work.

GAH!!!!!!!!!

ANd one more thing, I realized the other day that crossing my legs is starting to get difficult. OH and the bathroom rag rug I was working on — an oval shape — sucks and and I am now taking it apart to go back to the trusty rectangle. But you see wasted time and energy AGAIN!

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Did I mention we are finding out if Crouton is destined to wear pink or blue next Thursday at 3:00? Well we are. Make your guess — your extension is about to expire. I’m excited because we get to bring Morella, and because it’s a 3D ultrasound. It will be kind of cool to see what the baby looks like.

Speaking of babies. SIL Kandace and BIL Phil had their baby this morning — Eden Pearl was born weighing 5 lbs and 14 oz, and is 18 inches long. Once again the Benninghoff template prevails (small babies). Eden was having some respiratory problems and was taken to NICU. That is all I know. Apparently Caleb — her older brother had similar problems. But they had a girl! I was predicting boy, and that they would have the baby tomorrow. I was close!

The part where your nose attaches to your head is bugging me. For the last two days I noticed if I bent down to pick something up, it would be bizzy there and I would start to feel funny. Last night, I realized that my flonase prescription ran out. I wonder if the return of rhinitis is causing this issue…it really kind of sucks.

…..

This point has been hijacked by Tim.

Isn’t the weather getting nice? Forecast of 81 for Friday! That will be nice. And with nice weather comes bugs, and that means more bugs to collect for my artwork. When it comes to beer, I’m a pretty big fan of stouts and IPAs. Inline skating always seems to make me feel…sublime. Uh oh, she’s back.

……

Thanks Tim.

So I was going to tell you the story about Morella and a worm. I guess I’ll save that for tomorrow because Tim just started up Dynasty Warriors and you know we are addicted. It’s so relaxing!

I watched Resident Evil: Degeneration tonight. It was animated installment … and it was okay. It was better than the movies, I daresay. For some reason I just can’t get scared by zombies. Ghosts are another story though. After that I spent time on the internet and just now caught myself looking at photos on Facebook. MUST STOP! My time could be better spent blogging, right?

Today was okay. I got up. Showered, dressed — nice even. I wore a black wraparound maternity dress and tights! Yowza. Morella wore a cute pink skirt, colorful polka dotted baby legs, and a pink and red striped hoodie. It strikes me now that that polka dots and stripes probably don’t match, but really it was all the pink that drew it together. We went to the library for a playdate. It was okay — Morella mostly seemed shell shocked again and sort of wandered around. She didn’t have that normal joy she usually has exploring. I think it was because there ended up being too many kids. I got some books and went to have lunch with one of the other ladies at Java Cat afterward. I mostly went for the Gelato because Morella really likes it.

Got home, changed her, had lunch and then put Morella down for a nap. She’s been amazing communication wise the past two weeks. Did I mention she started signing for “more” and that she she now nods her head yes in affirmation to things that are true — like there being poop in her pants or if she wants to take a nap? On the other hand if you ask her if she wants a new diaper she’ll say “no”. Of course, she says no to many things, even as she yanks it out of your hand or opens her mouth for another bite.

Yesterday she burped long and loud and we all had a good five minute belly laugh about it. It was so funny to laugh and watch her look between Tim and I and just laughing…then we when were done she tried to fake burping and started chuckling again. You know, just like when you are getting over a really good laugh, you’ll remember it a few seconds later and laugh some more? Like that.

More Morella stuff:

–she loves being outside and was really disappointed that we didn’t go out to play today. There was one creepy moment, after her nap she was crying and kept pointing to the door. I took her to the door and she tried to open it. I opened it and there we stood looking out into the cold for about 30 seconds when the UPS truck suddenly pulled up in front of the house, a man emerged carrying a box and he brought it up to the front door where I took it from him. It was like Morella was physic!

—we got a back up solution for all our pictures and little videos of Morella…and uh other important data on the computer. It’s nice to have a back up.

–Morella loves puppies, kitties and stuffed animals. No this is not a plea for more stuffed animals. Really, we have enough. And with garage sale season upon us, we are bound to get more because people always give away a free stuffed animal to her after watching her roll around on the blanket of stuffed animals in toddler heaven. This years collection has started with a small puppy.

–She has a doctor appointment on Thursday. I am looking forward to seeing if she has gained any weight from her eating last week and this week. It’s so nice to have a baby who EATS!

—Morella loves steamed broccoli, sausage (like kielbasa, hotdog, patties, etc), cream cheese and 8th continent’s vanilla soy milk.

– I was just remembering today to where we were last year. I was pumping like all day, Morella needed thickeners in all her bottles and I was so worried that she would never be able to swallow normally and that her reflux would plague us forever. I am so glad we are past that phase.
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Next Thursday we find out if Crouton is a boy or a girl. I set up an appointment with Baby’s Debut for Thursday at 3:00PM. We get to bring Morella so that will be nice. So if you haven’t gotten a guess in yet — do it now!

Crouton has been super active. Last night was the first night that I hurt sleeping though. My hips kept aching, my back hurt…ugh it was miserable. I got up several times to shift and try to get comfortable.

Speaking of which, who do I think I am staying up this late? I wasn’t able to get a nap in earlier because the neighbors renovating the house next door thought it was a good time to deposit a large metal garbage bin and then throw bricks into it for the next hour — it was SO loud and I was so crabby about it. Maybe that’s why Morella was so crabby after nap. She didn’t get a good solid sleep in.

Saturday Photos: Belly shots at 25 weeks

I’m having problems uploading photos in conjunction with my domain — but I found a work around for now. I hate technical problems. You know? That make me nervous because I don’t feel as on top of computer internet stuff as I used to be. Albeit, back in the dark ages it was a lot easier because everything was so simple. Now…gah…there is just so much that it’s impossible to even pick a direction to follow. Like I would love to redo my website, but I don’t have dreamweaver anymore and…doing it myself is just too big and I am too snotty to even think about using a lame template. Well, you know without any extras special stuff that is.

In other news, I woke up this morning clutching my glasses and something else. I put them on the nightstand and went bak to sleep. When I woke up for real later because I had to pee, the cats were in muntiny and the dog was whining to go out, I discovered that they were really messed up. All bent to heck and … grubby. How on earth did I end up doing that with my glasses? That has never happened. It reminds me of the time I woke up and swallowed an ear plug with a big drink of water like it was a vitamin. Sigh.

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It was a busy day. Morella did not follow her regular nap schedule so I ended up waking her up twice, once after she had only been asleep for 10 minutes. I hated to do it, but I didn’t feel like I could cancel our plans. I had hoped she would take a nap later — but she didn’t. So I consoled myself by putting her to bed 15 minutes early. Something that would have been much easier if it hadn’t been sunny out. It seemed like today I really noticed for the first time that the sun was still shining at 7:15. I pulled the shades and went along with the bed time routine but I still heard her talking in there at 8:00PM.

I kind of wanted to go bed myself early because I’m tired. I just feel feel weird about going to sleep before Morella. You know? I prefer her to be asleep at night before I am, unless Tim is around. However, he is at his Thursday night game.

This morning we went to the East Side Mom’s club spring picnic. For about 20 minutes Morella stood shell shocked — probably from too short of a nap — clutching her springer webkinz dog that she insists on taking with her whenever she leaves the house. After she loosened up she went into Morella mode and just wandered around, looking a people, other kids, trees, or whatever caught her fancy. She’s such a little free spirit. Since it was a special occassion, I let her have one of the small juice boxes that someone had brought. I was really suprised and proud to see that she was able to take the small straw out of the juice box and put it back in to take a sip! Way to go fine motor control!

The afternoon was our regularly scheduled Thursday playgroup. We met at a local park and the kids just kind of wandered around. Morella climbed a lot, and then just as I said to two other women that she hates swinging, she went up to Ann and had her put her in a swing and then started laughing as she was pushed. Great Morella, thanks for making me look like a liar. Eventually it became obvious that she was tired because she was getting slap happy. I had hopes of getting home to sneak in a nap, but dashed those plans when I saw it was 5:00 when I got home. Nutz. She ate a cheese cake cup, grapes and bologna for dinner and I ordered pizza and chicken kickers for Tim and I. She also had a few bites of pizza — cool! Maybe one day she’ll like it, right?

Anyway. I don’t feel like I have anything to say. I sort of just want to go to bed. Morella is asleep now, I am sure of it, so I could. Today was the last day of her antibiotics. Thank goodness. I still haven’t called to make an appointment with Baby’s Debut for the 3d ultrasound. Tomorrow, I hope. I want to make sure that Morella gets as much sleep as she wants so I’ll stick around the house and play outside in the back yard. I think we need disposable diapers soon, but that can wait until this weekend and we can make it a family trip. Sometimes being on the go all day/week makes me kind of want to just stay home. Besides, she loves our backyard just as much as any other place.

Tomorrow night we are meeting with a bunch of friends for a fish fry. I want to make sure she is as rested as can be for this evening out. Other than that, we don’t have any plans for the weekend. It looks like it might be rainy. Maybe we’ll work on the garden space. I plan on marking off the garden spot and enclosing it with bricks to make it look nice and offical. Since Morella loves spending time outside (as do we) we figured that we would make a big effort to work on the yard and make it really nice.

At the play group today we decided that we are going to have a Mom’s night out. So next Tuesday we are leaving the babies to their Daddy’s and heading out to have dinner at the Brass Ring at 6:30. Because you know, if we have to put them to bed then it really isn’t a complete Mom’s night out now is it? I’m really glad that I have been able to meet such an interesting collection of new Mom’s this past year.

I don’t feel different than the person I was before Morella came here, and yet at the same time she has opened up a ton of doors and opportunities (people and places) that I probably never would have met or done otherwise. It’s great and weeks like this one, make weeks like the last worth it.