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The problem with such a long delay between photos is that I end up with a metric ton of photos that should be posted, and these are seriously edited! I mean, to say I deleted 220 photos when I downloaded all of my photos onto the computer. I patted myself on the back for equating that to a couple rolls of film saved…hurray for digital cameras!

Here are the girls from last October, taking a ride in the “train” at Henry Vilas Zoo

Here they are a year later.

I promised my friend Jess that I would post a picture of Morella wearing the flapper dress she made her. It fit her now, with a safety pin! She was inspired to wear it after watching an episode of So You Think You Can Dance.

I went out with Morella on Tuesday to get her bike fixed and then converted into a balance bike. While we were waiting we went to get a cookie and soda.

Yesterday was a rainy day. I busted out the finger paints and regretted it. Well, okay I didn’t completely regret it — the used them all up so I don’t have to deal with that brand anymore. Ugh, why does Neeners always think that finger painting means painting herself?

Lest you think that Neeners is messy only with paints, let me demonstrate to you the art of eating strawberry shortcake.

One more for good measure.

Oh back to the zoo for two more pictures. Here is the first time the girls attempt one of these photo opportunities.

Morella’s first time feeding a goat! She was tickled pink.

Yeah Soren. I am with you, what the heck ARE these girls doing?

Sucks that this was blurry. We put on LMFAO’s Party Rock Anthem and Morella immediately had to go and get dressed for it. It’s blurry because she dancing. Every summer seems to have it’s token song and this year it has us all shufflin’.

Morella in her ballet gear ready to go! She loves ballet. Even though parents and siblings aren’t allowed to be in class, I had the opportunity to take her yesterday and I went around and peeked through a window. She was absolutely enthralled and had the biggest grin on her face.

Morella is also in a 3 year old soccer league, and Sunday was her first game. Here she is kicking the ball with all her might. Or maybe just kicking it to get her Dad off her back.

The game pretty much looked like this — almost as many grown ups running around with the kids as there were kids.

I totally get why it is 3 players at once…the kids were tagging in and out so many times it was sometimes hard to keep 3 kids on the field (we had six) .

Afterward the kiddos cooled off with some Popsicles one of the Mom’s brought. Even Neeners got one and all she did was scream and throw tantrums the whole time about not being allowed to run onto the field and play.

At Ella’s Deli – Neeners rode one lap around before wanting off. We think maybe it isn’t heights she is afraid of, but moving fast.

Morella is still a big fan of riding the carousel.

I have a batch more ready to go, but I don’t want to overwhelm you. I’ll post it tomorrow.

I have been so disappointed the last couple of days regarding the death of Borders. I went on Monday with the girls, as I had said in my previous post. We browsed the Bargain Section, looked the kids section, got lunch – a personally blended chai tea for the girls, ice coffee for myself and a sandwich and lemon bar because Neeners said she was hungry. The barista told me that he had just marked all the Seattle’s Best products down to 75% off, including those chocolate covered graham crackers I have always wanted to try, the short bread cookies, the mints, the gum, the toffee and the coffee was buy one get one free, as were a few other miscellaneous. I bought a lot of it, and a new insulated cup. I asked him why it was marked down to clearance and he said that they were not working with Seattle’s Best and would instead be switching to their own Border’s Cafe Brand. He apologized profusely for not having full coffee store stock and that they were in transition but, he smiled, “Next week we will have all new pastries and supplies again.”

Later that night I saw a post on Facebook saying good bye to Borders. I commented and said I had just been there today and that they were only dumping Seattle’s Best, but then another person commented with a link to The Wallstreet Journal – Bookstore Chain Borders is Dead. I read it and the news started to sink in. There would be no new pastry line, but what’s more there would be no more bookstore. Liquidation starts tomorrow on Friday and the store will gone by the end of September. Kaput. Done.

I have been struggling to decipher why I have been so hurt and saddened by this news the last couple of days. Borders has always been of my favorite places to go. I went there when I was single and walked among the aisles, fingering books I would like to read, picking out books I had come to get, cracking them open and inhaling the sweet smell of paper and glue. I went there as a date destination with Tim, listening to music, talking about books, sitting in chairs and watching other book lovers go about their business. But what I think really makes it hard for me, is that in the last couple of years I went there as an escape. It was one of the few places I could take an infant, or small children in the middle of a long dark winter to get a cup of coffee and a treat, set the kids down in the bucket seat or set loose to crawl or toddle on the carpet in the well stocked children’s section. I could go there and for a little while, feel like an adult again. I could sip hot coffee and browse without fear that I was getting in anyone’s way, or that the kids were bothering other patrons. I could sit in on story time and connect with other parents hiding out at our secret refuge.

This morning I went garage sale shopping with Lowen and Soren. We only found one place in Sun Prairie and on our way back Morella had to pee and Soren was hungry. So I stopped at Babies R Us for their nursing room and bathroom, and then told Lowen I was heading over to Borders with the girls. I walked over and noticed that the parking lot was a little fuller than normal, and that there were more people bustling around inside. Still, it was homey, calm, smelled terrific and cool. The girls immediately knew where to go and headed off to their favorite aisle in the children’s section. I followed, not needing to worry about them and looked around at the store trying to take it all in one last time. While I was looking over Morella’s shoulder at the sticker books she wanted, and Neeners was off investigating the stuffies and bead/wire toys I said outloud “Oh I am going to miss this place.”

A woman was standing near by looking around at books and immediately said “I know. It’s just heartbreaking.”
“Tell me about,” I replied. “I just can’t believe it is happening. I love this store.”
“This is one of the places that you can take kids and have them be in another aisle and not worry about their safety. I bet if they sold smut they wouldn’t be going out of business.”
I nodded and said “Yeah, the kids love this place and it is so safe and welcoming.”

Then she went on to tell me that she has a cognitively disabled 49 year old and she asked me where she was going to take them after it was gone. I just answered that there were so few places such as this and it was going to be sorely missed. She wandered off, hunched and crossing her arms. She was just looking at things, I think, saying good bye, just the same as me. The girls have no clue. They probably won’t really miss Borders. One day Morella might ask if we can go and get more sticker or My Little Pony books and I will have to take her to Barnes and Nobles. Sure they have a train table, but they are also in the mall and I don’t let them wander far. The aisles there are closely packed, the patrons seem a bit snootier and unfriendly towards children, even in the children’s section, and their prices were always higher than Borders.

I know, I can buy the same books at at cheaper price online. But can I take my kids online? Can I leave the house when it is below zero to browse an online store, get a cup of coffee and feel like an adult? Can I touch, hold and look at the books to make sure it is something that I would want to buy or better yet, see something that I never thought to look for? Can we have lunch afterward and play with our new books, toys and whatnot sitting around a small cafe table and make it feel like a fancy tea party?

I bought a couple of sticker books, a pony book and a new journal for myself. I asked the clerk about it and he replied “We had an idea something was going to happen when the CEO’s and upper management take a couple million for bonus’s.” I replied “Well I had no idea, and I am sad about it.” He said that a lot of people felt that way. I asked him when the sales started and he replied ‘The liquidators come Friday.”

Awhile later I mentioned this to Lowen and she recalled a story on This American Life about liquidators and how it isn’t a good idea to go right away because it isn’t actually cheaper. I looked it up when I got home and found Scenes from a Recession, in particular act three: Short-Circuit City. Funnily enough, I remember actually hearing this on air and was interested because of Act 1 discussing the condo market in Chicago. They were talking about the condos in Roger’s Park area where we had lived and saw them being built. We had even contemplated at the time whether or not we should buy one or move back to Wisconsin. After listening to that partial broadcast we congratulated ourselves on our move to Wisconsin. But I don’t think we had heard the entire broadcast when it got to Circuit City. I listened it to it tonight while waiting for Neeners to go to sleep, and Lowen is right. This is exactly like Circuit City and there is no real point in going to Borders again until the final days.

But you know, as much of a bargain hunter as I am, I don’t know if I will go back. I was there on the last day of normal and going back to see what it will fall too might just be too sad. Well, on second thought maybe I will go back without the girls. I don’t want them to ever see what happened to it. I want them to remember Borders when it was a wondrous, warm enchanting store full of possibilities and high tea.

It is my brother’s birthday tomorrow. I bought him a handmade card three and half months ago because it was so cool, and couldn’t wait to send it to him. Guess what? I have no idea where that card currently is. I guess I can look around for it today.

Saturday I had taken the girls with me to Gander Mountain so I could buy a new pair of sandals. Last year I had went beyond Keens and tried a more, open toed feminine – Merrill. It was okay except…the top of one of right pair rubs my skin raw no matter how I adjust it or what I do. I hate them. Tim didn’t want to say “I told you so,” even though he did, and so I went and got some actual Keens. The last pair I had served me well for 5 years. I hope I can get some good mileage out of these — and to think they won’t have to survive two pregnancies worth of fluctuating feet. While we were at Gander Mountain I checked out the camping section because they usually have tents up. The girls played in the tents, on the cots and on the sleeping bags for about 10 minutes. I bought them each a camping bag chair – dark pink for Morella and blue for Neeners (their favorite colors). Then Morella asked if we could go camping. I said that maybe we would put up our tent if it wasn’t raining. Later on, it wasn’t raining, and she brought it up. Tim and I agreed and so up the tent went.

They were all excited about sleeping in the tent. Camping out in the back yard. We brought out blankets and sleeping bags, pillows and flashlights. We watched a movie on the Ipad while the sky grew dark and the kids horsed around. The neighbors started a campfire (thankfully no singing) and tried to settle the kids down to sleep. Tim was actually ready for them to go to bed at the first indication of not sleeping. We had just bought and downloaded the Dr. Ned Zombie Pack for Borderlands the night before and was anxious for some zombie killing. But I insisted that we make it a full blown attempt at trying to get them to sleep outside. Around 10, the girls were not listening and so I sentenced them to be outside the tent for a time out. I figured they would just stand at the door and cry. What they did though, was say “Okay!” and both scrambled outside of the tent. Then a minute later, Tim and I heard them by the back door. Morella opened it up, and Neeners closed it. Those two stinkers went inside to their room!

We laughed about it and followed them inside a minute or two later. Well, that was an easy way to get them to go to bed, and we did get a real attempt at having them sleep in a tent. Plus, we got to shoot zombies.

Sunday was supposed to be Morella’s first soccer game. She is on team Unisaurs, and they were matched against the Little Monsters. They had a practice on Saturday, and Coach Tim likened it to herding cats. However the game was cancelled because of the heat advisory. The game has been reset for August 28th.

So right now Morella is in soccer AND ballet. It is just like that book Tea for Ruby, that she got from Libby. She is one very little busy girl for the summer. Poor Neeners is too little for everything, but on the other hand she is little enough to not really be bothered by it. I am so glad that they are only 20 months apart, more and more I think that, as they play together almost every day. They will only be a year apart in school and will be able to support each other, be on the same teams, have the same friends….

Tim is gearing up to go and get the rest of his things from the office and work on turning the office here into a real work at home office. I should get dressed and get the girls ready for a Borders trip to get some “big girl sticker books” for Morella. Neeners seems to be especially crabby this morning.

Ugh, I am watching Sex and the City 2, and it’s pretty awful. A part of me keeps expecting something terrible to happen to these foolish, over the top, self indulgent women. And yet, nothing has happened…and probably won’t happen because it is that kind of movie. It’s like soap opera, richie rich fantasy. Is this really what American women are supposed to think is high fantasy?

Anyway. Tonight is the second night that Neeners has stayed up past her bedtime, after Morella went to sleep, to come into the living room and hang out with me. Tonight I decided to just start watching a movie, because they don’t bother Neeners at all, unlike the ever, curious and questioning Morella. Meanwhile Neeners horsed around by me until me until 9:30 and, for the second night in a row, I said “Okay Neeners now you go to bed. Take your puppy and your milk and go to bed.” She picked up her items, toddled off to her room and … for the second night in a row,….went to bed.

Today was filled with garage sales, parks, picnics, backyard, Popsicles, fudge pops, mac and cheese, sandboxes, little toad, quick bath, sleeping in, great coffee, fun friends, great husband and awesome kids.

I love summer.

Despite feeling a little blue this evening because I didn’t know what to do with myself in my unexpected free time (I put the kids to bed very early at 6:15), I rebounded and today has been a good day. I think my main problem with feeling blue was that I walked into every single room in the this house and stood there for a few minutes just looking around, sometimes I even went back to a room I had already stared at and did it again. Finally I started the 15 minutes doing ____ routine and move onto something else and that helped. So in the end the house is a little tidier, hochunk was studied, letters were written, journal was updated, and now I am here updating this — despite having to settle the girls a few times. Morella’s sense of smell continues to astound me. Falkor had laid in her bed this past weekend because he was scared of the fireworks and she complained that it stunk — like Falkor, so I had to change the sheets. I also changed the pillow case, to which she protested saying it wasn’t ruined, but I explained that he had been laying on that too. Whatev, I got them back into the land of nod within 10 minutes.

No, so I think the problem is that I don’t have anything super fun to look forward to. Picking up toys, washing and folding laundry, cleaning dishes and countertops may SOUND like a lot of fun, but when that is all there is, it is easy to see why one can get a little disheartened. So now I need to really buckle down and figure out what it is that I like to do.

–Watching movies. I like doing it, but only if I have something to work on while I am doing it. Otherwise it feels like a huge waste of time to me. The other con is that I am continually afraid that the noise will wake the girls up more time than they already do, and when I am flying solo like I do on Thursdays, I don’t want to risk it.

–Beading. I don’t know what to make. I don’t have a space cleared out in the entertainment center to put it away when I am done for the night and I have to put that stuff away now instead of leaving it on the coffee table like I did pre-kids for several weeks. Also, I don’t know what to bead and when you have that problem, then finding all the supplies scattered throughout the house seem a little daunting. A lot of them are in the basement.

–Clean the basement. It’s stinky down there, and the humidifier inexplicably broke the last time I tried to use it. I could try again…maybe I should, then I could stand being there and cleaning up the place. I wish our basement was finished like so many of my friends basements. Then again I wish I was better organized that I would be utilizing the space we have up here, which like a 100 years ago would have been mansion size.

–Get rid of crap. But what? I am not sure when the girls are actually done with a toy….and I would rather pass it on than just donate it. I think that is a key issue there — I just don’t want to give away good stuff to people I don’t know. I want to pass the joy on. I should just start collecting stuff and then leaving it on friends door steps.

–Put pictures and artwork into frames and hang it up. The con to that is that I can’t use the hammer after the girls are in bed. The stick on adhesive clips don’t work well enough for me to trust them with hard earned motivation and gump.

–Write. I did do that tonight. I wrote cards and in my journal and now to my blog where I am hashing out this.

–Design an outfit for the girls. I can’t sew well, so I am not entirely sure where to start. With sketches? Looking through books for ideas for a themed pattern? I feel like if I could figure that out, then I could start with beadwork, leather work, etc. I have said it before, and I will say it again, I wish I had a sewing buddy that was interested in the same kinds of things. I know, quite wishing for something that will never happen and using it an excuse to not get started.

–Organize and tidy the office — which includes a billion little projects like hanging up stuff, putting the futon back into a couch, putting my stationary stuff away in something other than worn out, ratty shoe boxes. This is especially important because the office is going to become Tim’s main work office in a few weeks.

–Read. I do have a book that a woman from my bookclub lent me and assured me was good. I guess I could start with that…and I should read the next pick for the book club –Postville: A Clash of Cultures in Heartland America by Stephen Bloom.

–Find ways to study hochunk more…and better. Stop being so old and let the information soak into my brain so I can become a natural overnight.

Well I guess those are the ones on the top of my head. I have also been fantasizing about traveling lately. Trying to think of the places in the world I would like to go and who I would like to visit. Work is tossing around sending Tim to India for a couple of weeks. Before when the idea came up I squashed it like a bug and never looked back. Neeners was too little and I didn’t feel I could hack it on my own for that long. Times have changed and the kids are older and now I could hack it on my own and to deny Tim the opportunity to go to India….well, yes he would have to work most of it, but he would be in INDIA! How awesome is that? And then the real teaser…is that if he goes and still manages to stick with this company for another year, then there is the potential that we could all go to India next year. Morella will be 4 1/2 and Neeners will be 3 which is plenty old enough to do it. We would just have to pay for our plane tickets. India has always been one of those dream places that I longed to see and experience. For my two Indian readers, it would Shennai.

So I guess we should starting thinking about renewing our passports and getting the girls one. There is also talk of going to Cabo for week, which would also require passports. If Tim is going to do his, we might as well all do it at the same time. Even though I am not actually going anywhere anytime soon, I feel like I am the cusp of traveling, which is kind of exciting. Well, it is fun to think about anyway. I am totally ready to find ways to get back out into the world and explore.

I have been feeling a little restless lately, and you know it is in part because I am super busy but also because when I do get free time, I am not quite sure what to do with myself. Today was a milestone in that Neeners, two days before she is 23 months, only one more month before her 2 year birthday — went napless. That’s right folks, she went the entire day without a nap, and it wasn’t for lack of trying on my part. Heck, Morella took a nap, but not Neeners. The upside to that was that I was able to put her down to bed at 7, though Morella stayed up to 9, watching some My Little Pony, eating dinner (she wasn’t hungry enough for the first one) and reading. We all had also gotten up at 9:00 this morning. Finally they are catching up on the lost sleep from Sunday’s huge BBQ, afternoon long open house style, 4th of July party. It was a great party — tons of fun was had by all, including us. I know it seems like I might not be having fun because I am always on the go doing things at the party, but the truth of the matter is I do manage to talk to everyone for a little while. I am also genuinely sad when folks leave because I want to talk to them more …. but that is the con to hosting a party. I mean, yeah I get to see everyone and provide a great opportunity for mingling and friends to catch up with other friends and for the kids to play, but it just is never for a really quality amount of time. That is why, more people need to have parties and invite us.

When I think about it, there aren’t that many people that have parties. Off the top of my head I can think of Laima, Sarah P, family baptisms and … uh…well I guess that is it. Once in awhile Christian and Cecci throw a shindig, but some reason or another we couldn’t make the last one of theirs. Oh wait, there are also the playgroup, daytime parties — but I usually organize those.

Back to feeling restless. I haven’t done any crafting for at least two months. I just can’t think of doing anything short term that I could do in an hour, so what I do end up doing is cleaning. Tonight’s great big exciting activity was going through the pile of paperwork that had built up. I paid bills, filled out some forms, donated money, sent a thank you card and RSVP’d to a wedding. It is nice because I got a lot off my chest administration wise, but I would like to do more. The kids in the summer don’t go to bed at a decent time, and if they do they end up getting up several times throughout the night… gah. I feel like I am making excuses. I need to sit down and delve into my inner listy self and write some lists. Put down some dream goals and then see where that takes me. Maybe if I can get on top of mundane things like getting rid of all that fucking plastic ware that doesn’t match or whatever and free up cupboard space, or go through the massive amounts of kids clothes, file, put pictures in frames, and organize the office then I might feel more like starting a really interesting project like making the girls outfits, or making jingles, or fixing up pictures/albums, or writing more.

Morella’s first day of pre-ballet is tomorrow. Tim will getting home around 4 and taking her and I’ll spend some quality time with Neeners after Soren’s Dad picks him up. I am thinking I will go to Olbrich Gardens or at least the playground with the kids tomorrow. It has to be fairly close so that Morella can walk otherwise I will have to carry someone while two ride in the double stroller. I could drive I suppose, but that would require putting the car base into the car. Hm.. Maybe I will do that. Yes, I am a wimp, at least for first times doing things.

I am expecting Morella to be doing lots of ballet practice in the upcoming weeks. I also hope that Neeners not taking a nap is a fluke and she goes back to daily, dependable naps. It’s just a little sad for me — one because I lose that free time to myself or with Morella alone, 2. Neeners is crabbier in the afternoon and 3. She really is almost two and practically grown up.

It is after midnight. I should really be in bed, but tonight I wanted to catch up with all the writing things that were pressing down on me — namely correspondence and a post. I gave up pushup, the possibility of a movie (though that was taken from me when the girls went to bed at 10:15 anyway) and studying hochunk for two days in a row so I could do this. You know what? This is equally important and I have already let it go on for far too long.

As typical for summer, the weeks fly by. It’s already July tomorrow. I feel like I fit a lifetime of things into June, and I know I will fit a lifetime of things into July — though I don’t know what they are yet.

This week: a visit from an old college friend Kersten and her son — both of which I haven’t seen in eight years.
–a trip to the Sun Prairie Aquatic Center today, it was so…very….awesome….
–failed garage sale hunting and a trip to a park for a picnic
–summer solstice party at Olbrich
–getting used to watching a newborn twice a week
–going for lots of walks
–cleaning up the house
–studying ho chunk
–saw the movie Super 8
–trying to clean up and organize the house (HA HA HA HA HA!)
–countless hours outside chatting with the neighbors, catching lightning bugs, pushing little girls on swings, killing bugs, filling water stations, breaking up fights, dancing, watching dancing, reading, coloring, crafting…
–book club to discuss The Outlander at Mickey’s to commemorate our one year anniversary!
–words with friends
–reading, but not always commenting or writing my own blogs
–putting pictures in frames
–thinking about the crafts I would like to do
–thinking about the outfits I would like to make the girls for powwows and wishing that I knew some native people that would like to hang out with me and go to a powwow. Then again, if I just go I am sure I will meet someone…uh…maybe.

That’s all I got right now. Tim has been working a lot these past few weeks. Yesterday he worked from 8 in the morning to practically midnight. I had very little time myself and was exhausted by bedtime so I just decided to go bed and do myself a favor for today (which worked). Hey I should go to bed now. Dude, it’s late, and this wasn’t the most scintillating of posts ever.