*sigh*

Normally I like to reserve the cradle swing for emergency use only. For times when I need to pump and she needs to be put someplace that she won’t be unhappy. Though there are certainly times when she doesn’t want the swing, like last night. I could only do a 10 minute pumping session because she hollered the whole time.

She hasn’t been herself these past two days. She’s crying or fussing most of the time and when she isn’t in motion she’ll often escalate her crying to the full “wah, wah, wah…gulp, gulp….pause…..WAH!” You know the full fledge crying that makes your instinct jump into high gear to try and make it stop. This is they cry that they talk about makes you feel uncomfortable — and it’s this cry that I try to avoid. Since 8:00 am this morning she was up all the way until 3:00 with only two 25 minute cat naps, in which I was able to pump. But as soon as I was done, she was ready to go. I finally put her in the swing because my back could take no more and I was just tired. She’s hasn’t slept very well in the last two hours she has been in it — she’s mostly dozing and occasionally cries a little before going back to dozing. A perpetual scowl is plastered on her face and her face is often screwing into a cry when she does open her eyes. The way I see it, she’s going to be unhappy today and the best I can do is make it so that she’s not as unhappy as she could be if she lets herself work up to it. Meaning, I am going to leave her in the swing until she cries for more than two minutes or Tim gets home. But my thought is that he will go with my plan.

I would like to take a shower when gets home. My hair feels greasy. Forget feel, it IS greasy.

I feel cold. I am on the couch with a warm laptop on my lap, covered in a fleece blanket and my nose is a bit nippy. It’s no wonder considering how the wind blows outside. I wouldn’t want to be out there today. Earlier I had chanced to look out the window and saw a flock of birds speed by — I have never seen birds move that fast. It sounds like a jet outside, thundering down the street. I keep checking to make sure our garbage can hasn’t blown over — thank goodness it’s heavy. I am sure that Tim will take care .. oh speak of the devil! He’s pushing it in right now!

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