I’ve been a little unfair to Pluto. I feel terrible saying this, but more often than not he annoys me because he wants so much attention, he wants to lay on the couch — and often he lays on Morella’s couch blanket. When she takes her tummy time nap in the afternoon, if I forget to clean it, she’ll wake up with dog hair stuck her little face and call me silly, but that bothers me. He’s going through a depressing time, and I am sure that my negative attitude probably has something to do with it. He hasn’t been eating much and he’s super needy – which in turn, makes him more annoying to me. Sigh. Poor Pluto.

Last night the Grandparents watched Morella while Tim and I went out on a date. We went to MadCity crab house and had some oysters and crabdip and a beer, followed by dinner at Noodle and Company where Tim mistook the hot sauce for fish sauce and covered his dish in it! I kept my laughter down as I watched him drink water desperately. After that we headed to DeJope Bingo and played a bit. Around 12 I told Tim we had to go because my boobs said we needed too. We walked out $7 bucks ahead! That NEVER happens, not that go gambling much anyway. I can’t remember the last time that Tim and I both went to a casino. I am thinking it was probably Majestic Pines during one of the visits to my Dad.

Before we left though, Morella’s reflux flared up and she became very upset and cried hysterically. I tried to remain hands off so that her grandmother could take care of her because I want her to be able to get comfort from other people. The grandmother insisted that Morella just wanted me, but I don’t think that is true. Just because she recognizes my voice doesn’t mean that I am any better at helping her right now. It’s more likely that I know what to do to calm her down faster — the right jiggle with the soothing words combined with the right walk is what she expects for quick comfort. Of course that doesn’t mean that comfort can’t come from different people. Sigh. In any case, her reflux has gotten steadily worse this week and I can’t help but to think that me having straight up milk with cereal the other morning had something to do with her sudden onset of the xantham gum version of runny poop. I also think that she might have outgrown her randitine dosage. The plan was to let her outgrow it…and she has — the dosage that is. I think that she still needs the randitine to help with the pain of the reflux to reduce the acid. After all, if we want her to be healed and pass the next barium study with flying colors then shouldn’t we be focusing on giving her the best chance at doing that? I don’t think now is the time to try and let her outgrow it.

So I am going to call on Monday to the pediatrician to get her dosage adjusted. I wonder if this means that I need to take her in to get weighed so that we can get the correct dosage…I am curious to see how much she has gained in the last couple weeks. More importantly, I want my happy little painfree girl back. She’s such a good baby when she is feeling good and it just tears us up when she isn’t feeling good.

Tim commented today that she has become much more interactive. She has! She has made such leaps and bounds these past two weeks in becoming a little person that it’s just amazing. At this rate, it’s going to be nigh impossible for me to leave her for a week to go on vacation this summer. However, I am committed to her spending time with relatives so that she can get to know them. It’s important for children to know their family as they grow up — I think that is part of what is lost in this day and age with nuclear families. I remember week visits with my grandmother and father and I think it helped me tremendously with learning that there are different ways to live life. Plus, it helps to strengthen relationships. Okay, that isn’t until the end of July though — she will be 8 months old by the. I can’t even imagine what she will be like at that point! That seems so close and yet so far away.

Alright. Last pump of the night is done and my contacts are getting stick and hard to see through. I also stayed up too late last night goofing around on the internet and wasn’t able to recover that lost sleep today. I need to get myself to bed so I can have that good 6-7 hour stretch of sleep. I put Morella to sleep on her side when I put her to bed at 10 because left prone position is supposed to help with reflux. Tummy is actually better, but I am not comfortable putting her to sleep on her tummy when I am not watching her closely. I’ll shift her to her back now as I go to sleep because some time has passed. Oh and you know, the doctor said to put her to sleep on her side to help with that whole head turning thing. Morella has a tendency to want to turn her left to the right and I am supposed to do my best to make sure she spends enough time during the day looking the other way. I have to do things like feed her in the other arm (hard) and putting all her toys and stuff to the left so she’ll want to look at them, and after tummy time I make sure to lay on left side and talk to her so that she’ll turn to look at me. Still, I worry about having a baby with lopsided ears and flat spot behind her ears on the right side of her head.

A mother life is fraught with worry…right? I guess I am doing a good job fulfilling that requirement, eh?

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