It’s a very wet blustery day today. I am still in my pajamas, wearing glasses and my hair has not seen a brush. I could also probably use a face wash. Morella has changed the morning schedule in that she gets up at 6:00AM goes to sleep at like 7:00 and gets up again at 9:00 and then goes down again an hour or two later and … repeat. I made her take a longer nap midafternoon in part because I needed a nap too. She got up after a 1/2 an hour but since I didn’t get her up and she wasn’t crying a lot she ended up going back down for another hour and a half. That was nice, though I had some nightmares because it was uneven napping.

The one big theme of the nightmares is that I am doing something (today it was attending a party across the street) and I realize that she is left alone in the house. I rush back to her thinking “How could I have possibly thought it was okay to leave her alone?!” A few other times it’s has been me going to work, or running an errand. Each time I realize that she is alone I get this sense of dread. I wonder what it all means?

The second part of the nightmare was about a cat. I had just returned to Morella after leaving her and was holding her when we noticed a cat a the front door. Our hippie neighbor’s used to have this black and white cat named Oliver. Well in the dream, this cat was Schnookie – a long haired white tabby that a roommate had back in college, but in the dream I associated it as Oliver. It came to the front door and wanted to be let in. I knew that the hippie neighbor’s had moved a year ago so it sort of felt like Pet Cemetery. I quickly closed the door and held Morella tighter as this cat looked for a way inside and woke up just as it had went under the floor boards.


I do not know what is for dinner tonight. Last night Tim made Indian food, the night before we had fry bread tacos, the day before that it was stuffed sausage, and the day before that was Monday…and no wait it was Sunday. I don’t remember … I think we might have just scavenged. I still think that one of the hardest parts about being a SAHM or housewife is constantly thinking of what is for dinner. Sure I could do menus and in fact, have done that in the past but that takes a lot of sitting down to plan it and that is time that I just don’t have, nor do I have the gump to do it because it still comes back to — what’s for dinner. A few times I have taken to looking up school or old folks centers to see what their menu items are just to get ideas. I would do that again tonight but for some reason finding a good online menu directory is hard.

Tim is home. He is reading. He has been getting into these reading phases where is more impossible to talk to him than when he is watching TV — which we don’t do a lot of anymore because of Morella. We usually turn it on after she is going to bed or try to situate it so that she isn’t watching it. Yes, we still believe that babies shouldn’t be watching TV, if anything because it’s overstimulation especially after 6:00PM. She’ll have her whole life to veg out in front of the TV after she is older.

Um what else. I guess I should look for something to eat. :(

Oh and Sarah: That was the first time I let her have naked time because of the same reasons! I think it’s just too cold. We let her do it again for a while yesterday and she rolled over and started to creep, so naked time definitely has some benefits. Maybe it’s because they can feel their body parts move? I don’t know. I’m looking forward to when it’s warmer so that she can have as much naked and just onsie time as she wants. Until then, since *I* am always cold I assume she is too. On the other hand Tim is always hot so maybe she would take after him? I dunno.

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