IT’s a …. I don’t fucking know.

I’m disappointed and am really feeling it. I guess I didn’t realize just how excited I was to find out, I can’t believe this happened to us, and I can’t stand not knowing. A few things bothered me about it…

1. The ultrasound technician wasn’t the best we have ever had.
2. She said “The baby’s legs are crossed tightly at the knees and you can’t see between then. You can’t get any more closed than that.” And proceeded to show us several times just how closed they were.
3. Then she goes onto to say “But if I had to guess I would say it’s a girl, because there is the absence of anything showing.” And then she writes it in later as “female” for the sex.
4. No matter what I tried the baby would not uncross their legs.
5. The baby was laying on it’s back so she didn’t get enough “something something spinal measurements” which means that there might be a chance that I would go back.
6. Only the doctor who dictates those results knows whether that will happen and will presumably tell my doctor. So far it’s been a “We’ll call you if you need to know something” sort of operation. Don’t they understand I want to know EVERYTHING!?
7. So there. I might get another shot at finding out. I might not.
8. I guess I can call my doctor or email her to follow up and ask about it.
9. I wonder if there is a place that does 3-D images around town that I can go to.
10. It’s not that I am disappointed that it might be a girl, it’s that I am disappointed that we don’t know for sure. You know?

I need to shake it, and tomorrow I will probably feel just fine. I mean, it seemed like everything else was going okay – baby is growing on target.

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