I’m feeling a little near crazy. Today is just another endless day of crying and unhappy kid. To try and make a difference, I at least changed her into clothes today instead leaving her in pajama’s, but it’s not working. She’s still unhappy, very short fused, cries a lot. A lot.

She did eat some pears today, and most of a yogurt and some cream cheese. That is quite an improvement. She has bad diarrhea though. I know it goes hand in hand with antibiotics. I almost didn’t want to give her today’s dose — but theoretically it’s that antibiotic that is going to start helping her feel better. So today is today two. I pray to god that she is starting to feel better by tomorrow. I don’t know how much more of this I can sanely take.

Okay. Deep breath. Having a frazzled, upset Mom sure as heck isn’t going to make her feel better. Okay. Take care of myself. What do I need to do that? *thinks* Cleaning helps. I should clean. It makes me feel in control of something. My hair is also bothering me. I should take a shower. Yeah. Then what?

–cook something
–clean the bathroom
–sweep living room floor?

These are too vague. I’ll start with the shower first. That is something that is finite and definite. Morella is laying down in her crib. She isn’t sleeping. The door is open. I put in her favorite stuffed animals. She just wants to lay there. That’s okay — if it makes her feel better. :( I gave her motrin at 10:30 but it does’t seem to be helping much.

I wish a food fairy would drop some food off for me. Something delicious.

Update: Morella is now not going to wear onsies (just the onsie t-shirt material thing), a shirt and pants. That last explosion was near hazmat level. Also, it’s going to be hard to get anything done when Morella is so needy. So maybe the cleaning plan won’t work.

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