Morella is not feeling well today. She seemed fine yesterday and didn’t even go to sleep at her bedtime, which meant she got to go along with Tim grocery shopping. However, she was up late so I figured that was what this morning’s weirdness was about.

At 9 she wanted to go back to bed. I figured she had a late night and usually she just plays in there until she gets bored and then comes out. During that time I took a shower and got ready for my doctor’s appointment at 10. When I went to get her at 9.30 she was asleep! I felt bad for waking up her up, and let her go for another ten minutes and just decided going in her jammies was going to have be good enough.

The doctors appointment was fine. Four pounds in a week was explained away by water retention. I guess that might explain part of it. Ha ha. No seriously, my appetite has been weird and I have been drinking a lot of fluids. Sigh. I guess I should watch the caffeine intake though and maybe … oh do I care anymore? I guess I care a little. But my blood pressure is low, pulse is fine and no protein in the urine so really I am okay. I shouldn’t worry about it. I hate that going to the doctor every week at this point means you have to get on a scale. It’s so stupid! I think that is one of the worst things about pregnancy — if having other people monitor your weight gain.

So yeah. We got home and she wanted to go back to crib. I put her in and she fell asleep around 11.30 to 1.30. She was up when I got her, but didn’t want to leave. I made her because she needed a new diaper and needed to be offered lunch. Besides I was so hungry I was shaking. 1/2 a piece of baloney and a few grapes later she wanted what? Yep back to bed. I was helping her and noticed she felt warm so I took her temperature. 101.9

Crap. I gave her motrin and then a 1/2 hour later she felt much better and was ready to get out of her crib and play a little. I needed to go to Woodman’s to get some butter and ingredients for dinner so I asked if she wanted to go on a walk. She said yes and jumped in her stroller. We walked to Woodmans, stopped at the park to swing for about 10 minutes and then walked home. Of course it was totally leisurely, that is the only way I can walk and not feel like crap anymore.

Came home, and I let her watch about 20 minutes of TV and then noticed she wasn’t in the living room anymore. Instead she was lying on her floor on a pile of blankets next to her crib. Sigh. I put her back in with her stuffies. She is in there now talking to herself while I dethaw chicken and talk with you guys.

We are going to have pesto chicken pizza for dinner tonight. You know there is no tomato sauce in it? I kind of thought so and some internet research agreed. It should be interesting. Morella doesn’t like garlic, or food — so she probably won’t eat. She has been drinking soy milk okay though so hopefully her low appetite is because she isn’t feeling well. I just have to remember the mantra “They eat when they are hungry.”

Yes, they do. I can’t force food down her mouth.

Ugh I hope she doesn’t have an ear infection.

I bought some pregnancy tea and primrose oil. I am not going overboard but I am hoping that introducing it to my diet that Crouton will come more on time. I don’t need another full month of this.

There I said it. People keep asking if I am just “done” or “can’t wait to get it out” and all that. Sure folks, I am really effing uncomfortable. It hurts to walk, moving at night makes me want to scream, I hate feeling like I have to pee all the time, I had actually peeing all the time, I don’t like the jabs and punches I get from inside — the cute little “oh she kicked” phase has been long over. I don’t like feeling like I am going to vomit the second I get over heated. What do people want to hear? Is this what they want to hear? Gah.

On the other hand, I want Crouton. I want her to be as healthy as she can possibly be and if it means doing all of this, then I am glad for every freaking minute of it and don’t dare want to give the impression that I don’t want her — here inside me or otherwise.

Oh the mail just came. I wonder if we got anything good. Probably not. Okay. I need to go and start dinner.

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