Today has been one of the worst days. A day in which I was sure I wasn’t gonna make it. I *knew* I shouldn’t have had that gin and tonic. I cannot drink gin. I cannot drink ANY hard liquer (with the exception of margarittas). I was so ill. I couldn’t sleep though it, I had to be awake for it all day. I missed shopping with Erika and Rachel too, but I seriously couldn’t leave my bed (except to go to the toilet, and then later when there wasn’t much I just used the old fashioned bucket). Yeah. I know, you don’t want to hear these details. We were out to 4:00 at Eric and Kate’s party, had a great time, mixed with uber drama. Enough drama (family stuff) that I felt regrets today.

Regretted drinking that gin. Regretted staying too long (Four is a bit much). Regretting talking too much. Regretted my hair do. Regretted the wasted day that was today. Why did I do it? I mean, I haven’t had gin in months…maybe the first time this year. I just forget I guess. I forget how it destroys me, and makes me wish and vow that I am never going to drink again. While I am at it, maybe throw in smoking too.

The smoking will stop in less than three months though, and after kids…well drinking isn’t the best idea. Other than the occasional social drink with dinner, or at a friends. That kind of thing. *sigh*

Didn’t write today. Couldn’t do anything. Just waste away.

Tomorrow I will write at work. Two people out of the office, and then Tuesday I have a dentist appointment that I leave for at 2.30 (and not coming back…made that mistake last time…went back for 45 min). Then Friday I am taking off so Tim and I can go on the getaway that we have been planning for four years. I can also write tomorrow night because Tim will be gone on a business trip to Washington. Writing will keep my mind off how empty the apartment will be. At least I have the cats. They are worth having boxes of shit in my house (four of them even!).

I wish I could take a razor blade and cut the gum away from the wisdom tooth that is trying to push it’s way though. Actually, I wish that I didn’t have wisdom teeth, that I had evolved beyond that.

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