Athena has been having a hard time draining the snot in her head. I’ll admit we all have been having a time of it because it’s just taking so freaking long to get out. The only one unaffected is Morella. Maybe. I mean she has been complaining of what we think are headaches the last week so maybe her sinuses are funky too.

Anyway. Athena wouldn’t sleep more than 45 minutes today. Tonight I tried to put her down but she was having none of it. Instead of frustrating myself trying to put her to sleep before doing anything I accepted that she’s just a little baby still and it’s entirely okay to hold her while I rock in the glider and watch a movie. After all, I never get to do that sort of stuff with Morella anymore — she’s too wiggley.

I watched Neverwas, which had quite the list of stars in it. I paid attention the entire time but in the end was left feeling a little weird and sentimental about my children.

I looked at some of the pictures on my camera from the last week and saw a few where someone else had taken a photo of us singing Happy Birthday to Morella and me holding up her cake to her as Tim held her. She was a little overwhelmed by playgroup being at our house. Maybe because she had just gotten a bunch of new toys and here comes a load of kids who want to play with them before she’s had a chance to play with them. I was appalled at how … old I look. I look old, and hunch backed and fat and blah blah blah. I know, I know. I am still allowed to look like this. It took a long time to get this like this — especially since there was no breaks in between from pregnancy, to breastfeeding to pregnancy to breastfeeding again where my body really had a chance to snap back. I know it probably really won’t do so for another 2-3 years. Still, sometimes it’s gets me down to think I look like I am 45 or something when I’m not.

It got me thinking about how Morella and Athena don’t care what I look like. They think that I am the most wonderful human being on earth — right next to Daddy. In the next few years as they get a little older they will also think that I am absolutely gorgeous — and that thought is beautiful and comforting. Most children think that of their parents whether they deserve it or not for the first 10 or so years. I think it’s really cool that they will base their opinions on me based on love.

I was all over the place today. Elated with my babies, playing in the basement and upstairs. Then tired because no one wanted to take dual naps and they were too short and desperate to think of a way to pass the hours until bedtime. To being patient and trying to enjoy time with both of them, which is difficult when one isn’t feeling too well and the other wants so much to sit on and snuggle with the helpless baby. Eventually I put Athena in the swing and swung her into an hour nap — thank goodness. She doesn’t usually fall asleep in the swing. She prefers to be in bed and go from there, but she needed the movement and quiet lullabies.

Morella, meanwhile, helped me wash dishes, turn her light on and off a gazillion times (both of which are because she learned the true power of dragging a chair or something to where she wants to go and stand on it), drew on a chalkboard with me for awhile, watched a slide show of pictures from September 2008 (she was such a baby then! That was only last year!) and finally get dressed enough to run some errands in the car. I dropped off some mail at the post office, returned a cake container to a friend, picked up Tim at work because he was stranded without rain gear to get home, and finally to Burger King for a whopper dinner. Tim asked her where she was while we were waiting in the car line and she replied “Eat.”

Great. She knows fast food. Ha. Well, you know it’s really sometimes the easiest thing with two really little ones in the car.

I’ll work on pictures tomorrow.

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