The other day a friend linked to this article: All Joy No Fun the other day in her Facebook account. It has take me a couple of days to actually read it, and it’s been very thought provoking. It’ comes on the heels of also reading Confessions of a Slacker Mom and it has me thinking about my parenting style, about how having kids have changed my life and who I am as a mother.
The thoughts that came to me, are really more questions that I would like to address in upcoming posts. You know, just to really think it all out.
1. Why did you have children?
2. What were your expectations of having children? What did you think it would be like?
3. How much leisure time do I actually have now?
4. Is the experience of having children different than that of my parents and my grandparents?
5. Why do so many parents feel overwhelmed? Is it: lack of childcare and help, loss of personal time, martial relationship, cost, expectations of what I should provide/how to be a parent, judgments from others?
6. How has the experience of parenthood fundamentally changed? For example, is it that we just have more time to think about it and wallow in our own experience? Example being arts didn’t evolve until mankind cultivated agriculture and freed up more time to pursue such interests.
7. “Economically worthless but emotionally priceless”
8. More education leads to more structured organized activities (5 hours versus the 2 hours for high school dropouts)
9. Do you believe in giving your children every advantage?
10. “It’s the drudgery that is so hard.”
11. Did you experience an acute loss of freedom and autonomy? :Huge source of joy but they turn every other source of joy into shit.”
12. Following the ideal that there is a right and wrong way to do things, and living up to that.
13. I often wonder how other parents in other countries view parenting. “American’s make everything complicated.”
14. Do you lose your “interesting” cred? Do feel like you have become less interesting as a person and project that out as your person? (For example, talking about the banality of housework, sleeping schedules, feeding schedules, kids..”
15. Married women were less depressed than childless peers.
16. No one with children regretted having children, whereas some who chose not to, regretted not having children.
Bonus question: What am I giving up right now in order to raise these kids?