Pumpkin Patch, Pancakes and Grandparents

It was a good weekend. On Saturday I got to sleep in a little. I got up after I nursed Neeners down for an early nap and sent Tim into the room to sleep in with her. I got Morella and myself dressed and we went to pick up our CSA vegetables and hit a few garage sales on our way home. Once we were back, Athena and Tim got dressed and we headed out to return a soccer jersey that Tim got from Ben at the wedding and exchange it for a smaller one. While he was doing that I found a great store called U-Bake that sells all kinds of cookie and cake decorating things … I found those little silver edible balls that no one thinks anyone makes anymore! I have been looking for those things for years, I tell you, years. I can’t wait for Christmas cookie season to be upon us. Okay, I take that back. I can wait. Christmas will be here before you know it, look October is already almost half way through.

After that we got an ice cream so that Morella could use the potty and a coffee from Steep and Brew and then we headed out to Schuster’s Farm, where we have gone to the for the last three years. Morella and Athena had a blast. We didn’t get to pet kittens and ride the slides because it was too hot, but we did get a very long wagon ride. Another bad was that we were swarmed by bees for the last part of the trip wherever we went because the girls spilled some orange soda on themselves. They were awful! In the end we got three little pumpkins and a lot of photos.

Today, our friend Christan and Cecci came over and we headed up to St. Dennis for their Pancake Plus breakfast. Plus, included coffee, juice, scrambled eggs and sausage links. We ate our fill and then came back and made some real coffee before retiring to the backyard to sit for a couple of hours and chat while the kids played. Eventually the left and I was going to make some kind of soup, but got put off because … well, I didn’t feel like it. The house was a disaster and Tim’s parents were due around 2 for a spur of the moment visit. Tim cleaned up a bit and eventually I even managed to move some things around in time for them to come. They brought their two identical dogs/puppies which of course, thrilled Morella and Athena. They stayed for a couple of hours before heading out. About a 1/2 hour before they left Morella went to her room, shut the doors and took a nap. Neeners, meanwhile kept up her day long crabby streak. I went and laid down with her where she took a little cat nap while attached to the breast.

I thought that kids were supposed to cut down on the nursing around now…I mean she is 14 months old (and yes I do plan on taking more photos…even though I missed month 13) but she seems to have ramped it up a couple of notches the last couple of days. She must be teething, right? Ha ha ha ha. Oh teething. Or maybe she is growing. Whatever. Morella got up from her nap on the wrong side of the bed and continued her bad mood until we both forced the overtired kids to bed at 8:30. Thankfully they went down without a fight.

The weather is supposed to continue being awesome through the week. Oh I forgot to mention that I took an impromptu trip to the zoo on Friday. I just headed out with no real purpose and ended up there. I had no stroller so it was just me and girls, but we did okay and had a great time.

I realize that I have been spending a lot of time just hanging outside or with the girls. Concentrating on just spending time with them. When I am not, I find time to just spend time in the company of friends. All the shoulds and mustdo’s are put on hold unless absolutely necessary. I don’t know. I sort of feel like just immersing myself in this fantastic weather and trying to soak as much of it up as possible with people that I love and care about.

Hm. I just looked at a few internet sites regarding grief, and I think I can relate to:

Sadness – Profound sadness is probably the most universally experienced symptom of grief. You may have feelings of emptiness, despair, yearning, or deep loneliness.

Fear – A significant loss can trigger a host of worries and fears. You may feel anxious, helpless, or insecure. You may even have panic attacks. The death of a loved one can trigger fears about your own mortality, of facing life without that person, or the responsibilities you now face alone.

Physical – I think the only ones here might be decreased appetite and weight loss (which is something I’m not that broken up over…though I feel bad that I haven’t been creating super nutritious meals for my family)

There are four tips that can help: turn to friends and family, support group, faith or counselor. I have most definitely done the first.

Turn to friends and family members
– Now is the time to lean on the people who care about you, even if you take pride in being strong and self-sufficient. Draw loved ones close, rather than avoiding them, and accept the assistance that’s offered. Oftentimes, people want to help but don’t know how, so tell them what you need – whether it’s a shoulder to cry on or help with funeral arrangements.

And it is true. Everyone keeps telling me “Let me know what I can do to help”. I don’t know how to answer that. I don’t. I have found the most valuable help has been the help that I haven’t asked for, or for when I just show up on their doorstep and we let the kids play while just … visiting. Being.

How to support a grieving person

If someone you care about has suffered a loss, you can help them heal by asking about their feelings, spending time just being with them, and listening when they want to talk.

Hm. I should go to bed. Another thing they say is to take care of yourself. I have been wanting to write, or craft, and exercise…they are there…I should start them more.

2 thoughts on “Pumpkin Patch, Pancakes and Grandparents

  1. Sarah

    I wish we were a bit closer so we could bring you casseroles, lasagna, and frozen chili. I can’t imagine trying to provide nutritious homecooked meals when I’m grieving. So, Madison people who are reading this and want to help — offer food!

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