I can’t believe this is Tim’s last day of work. It seems like only yesterday, or at the very least last summer that he started there. Living in that shitty apartment with the ice cream truck hell spawn punishing the poor across the street from dusk till dawn with it’s ridiculous music. It was such torture. To the first day I met the Willougby people…I had taken the train all by myself to Evanston to meet Tim to go to a Cub’s game with his work force. Now it is done. Only an hour left.
Only one person has told me things will work out. I really needed to hear that too. Sure I am strong and tuff and all that, but after seemingly endless waiting, doubts flicker at the edges of my confidence until it has become infected. A little encouragement medicine was nice to hear, and it came from one who almost never says anything positive. At least to me. She is one of those whom I listen to. There are so many people I listen for, but few who ask back.
Anyway. The rain is gloomy, and it is a icky day to end a job…but then things are always darkest before dawn. Ha. It’s funny. Whenever I get like this I find consolation in crappy cliche’s. Tomorrow will be better, and today will be the past. We will laugh that we ever had doubt. Wait. Did I say doubt? I didn’t mean it that way. I don’t doubt his decision. He should have quit. He should still stay quit. I just feel sad….like anyone when something changes. Things are changing.
Standing on precipice.
At least I have my darling with me.