Last night Tim was driving me home from TKD. I was looking at all the Christmas decorations.

Laura: What purpose does Mrs. Claus have? Does she provide a family structure?

Tim: She recieves the yuletide log.

Laura: She does? A yuletide log? What is that anyway? You know, I made a yuletide log once. I decorated it with pine cones, glitter and stuff and brought it home. My parents said “What is that?” I told them it was a yuletide log. “What does it do?” they asked. I said “I don’t know.” What does it do?

Tim: . . . .

Laura: I mean seriously, are you supposed to burn it? Is it the ultimate in special logs?

Tim: . . .

Laura: Hm. So what does Mrs. Claus DO with the yuletide log?

Tim: . . .

Long seconds pass.

Laura: You’re going to hell.

Tim: But Santa is already the devil!

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