Some times being with family is hard. My mother is hard. She has little social grace, she lives like a roman emperor and knows no boundaries. Everything is excess. I can’t offer choice, I have to only offer ….exacts. Otherwise the bad choice will always be made.
I am starting to worry about my friends meeting her. She is a difficult person (very nice though!) because of how she looks, and some of her mannerisms … I can’t describe it. I am beginning to feel like the reason anyone would want to meet her is because they think she is the early version of me — which isn’t the case. We are very, very different. We have crafts in common, and varied interests — so maybe 20 – 30 years ago when she was my age, we might have been very similar — but time has changed much of that.
She requires a lot of patience. I had the thought yesterday that I must be like my Dad. That you never know when he might yell at you. But I am not yelling, I am saying things plainly. Things that need to be said like “You cannot eat only sweet things. Your blood sugar is low because you haven’t eaten anything, and there is sugar in food,” and “you cannot leave the back door wide open while you are smoking when the central air is on,” and “you should drink at least a cup of water and not just Diet Coke all day long.”
Her leg is pretty bad. I mean, yesterday we went to Borders which I realized was a bad idea right away. She can’t stand for long and everything at Borders is very, expensive. Anything over a dollar is expensive is just outrageous. So we went to Target to look at the bins. She ended up getting some glitter glue, felt and stickers for 11 dollars (very extravagant), and I bought her a pair of pants and T-shirt. Luckily Target had a wheelchair so I was able to push her around and let her look at things.
I can’t help but to see everything she sees — like I did when I was a teenager and didn’t know any better. I know she is going to go home and talk about all the fun and exciting things she did, and how rich we are, like:
1. Ordering Little Ceaser’s pizza.
2. Buying 15 dollars worth of clothes at Target (the pants and t-shirt)
3. Buying coffee at a drive through
4. Eating homemade Burritos
5. Apple slices and peanut butter
6. How nice and clean my house is
7. Fancy shower curtain
8. Clean guest room with a desk, quilts, etc
9. My HUGE collection of beads, paper, stamps, etc — I know she wants them. She wants these things for the sake of having them. I have to be careful not to say “Take whatever you need” because of that excess thing — she will take all she can carry. I will put together a little packet for her at the end of the week with some leather, beads, thread, paper, cards, etc..
10. The weird way we make coffee (french press)
I guess what I am saying here is that the folks who said they would meet her (Sarah, Heather, Hilary, Liama and Roberta) you can back out if you want too. She is going to make you feel uncomfortable and I just want to give you fair warning.
However if you can handle social discomfort, then I know she would love the company and most certainly the attention. I am not ashamed of her. I just want you to be warned.