Fuck. I was having a good day and now I am overcome with an episode of low self confidence. It’s stupid really — but since I don’t seem to be aware of it, I feel even MORE aware of it.

“I guess you had some garlic recently, huh?” asked my coworker. She sat at her desk working on a laptop.

“Why, yes!” I replied happily, “I made chili last night.”

“You must have used a lot of garlic,” she replied with a quick glance.

“Actually yes,” I said, starting to get a little suspicious. “I used a whole head of garlic.” Suddenly I realized what she was getting at. I consciously stepped back from her and added lamely “It was chili after all.”

Pause.

“How could you tell?” I asked the question anyway. “I even took a shower this morning, and…”I grasped for some kind of defense “Garlic is good for you.”

“You can get the same benefits from onions too,” she smiled.

“Oh,” I replied “I put five or six of those in there too.” I wasn’t going to win this. This woman has the nose of a bloodhound and apparently I am exuding garlic and onion from a 10 foot radius. “I had no idea anyone could smell it.”

She concentrated on her computer and tapped in a word or two.

“I mean,” I continued while sniffing my arm and hand, “I can’t smell it at all.”

Tap. Tap. Tap.

—-

I should also mention 1: She is the same one I said was babbling last week, and 2: I ate another bowl of chili when I got home. So there.

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