Today was a pretty good day, despite missing my friend Paul. (Sorry about that again). I woke up at nine, and stayed up. Tim wanted to go shopping and we did. It took us tons of searching to find the item that he was looking for (mech warrior IV expansion pack). But finally, we found it. I bought some stationary at the mall. When we got back, there were two books at the front door (Thanks again, and still sorry about missing you).

Since I didn’t have to clean this weekend on account of it being in great shape due to the visit we had on Wednesday…(Tim’s Uncle he hadn’t seen in twelve years, and his lovely wife), I decided to write. It feels like it has been awhile since I have written, and the letter to my mother has been side tracked a bit. So I wrote to Sarah Cloud, who wrote me a later at the end of June. I thoroughly explained the how and why July was a particularly bad month for me, and how I am glad that August is here….it feels like a new beginning. A new start on life, a new breath of fresh air. I also wrote a language guide for my Dad to follow in making me a Ho Chunk language tape. I used it based off a spanish conversation book I got. I think it would be a good way to learn the language…by learning vocabulary and short sentences with the words in it. OH, and I did a FB to include in Sarah’s letter. Watched A Beautiful Mind and was disappointed (it just wasn’t that good), and then…croqueted a bit.

Last night I finished American Gods (thanks to Sigrid for that suggestion), and loved it. Just the whole town of Lakeside (aka Menomonie) descriptions, and Ho Chunk references made me happy. Very happy. I just feel bad that the book is done, and I don’t know what else to read. Any suggestions would be welcome.

I was going to go out tonight, but decided I didn’t feel like coming home at 3 in the morning on the blasted CTA, tired, sweaty and feeling all around icky in this humidity. I don’t really relish the idea of wasting tomorrow either. I have had such little time to myself, and so many projects piling up in my head, and the need to do…things that I like, no matter how inconsequential they are. Although I am going to a BBQ tomorrow at four. It’s for the train girl I met a while back (Kellie) because of her completing another year of life. We really need to go grocery shopping before that.

Last week, and most of this previous week…I felt, drained. Like life was just there and overbearing, and I had no choice in any matter, and that whatever I said, did or thought was all just going to be misinterpreted, taken for granted, forgotten, meaningless, empty. While I still feel that way to some degree, I think there is an element of acceptance seeping in. I certainly hope that this acceptance of mine is based on courage, understanding of duty/responsiblity and not defeat.

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