I wrote a draft of a letter to my Mom that apologized for calling Josh names, and gently scolding her for telling him (as I know she did because you know, misery loves company and my Mom LOVES to spread misery), I explained why I lost my temper and then said I didn’t want to discuss it any further because I don’t want the stress. I then suggested we refrain from talking on the phone for awhile. I don’t lose my temper in letters….it’s the phone that is my downfall.
I went on to say I felt she puts a lot of pressure on me to cheer them all up and how I’m human and ultimately I am not responsible for their happiness. I said I care about them and wish they weren’t always so sick, miserable, depressed and sad and then went on to discuss some other news. It was short and brief and when I write it out it should be just a two pager. I decided to still send a card and the afghan (after I take a picture of me holding it for you guys!) and just include the letter. There is no point in hurting her feelings more. It wouldn’t gain me anything and it won’t gain her anything. I cannot change how they are, and nothing I say or do will ever have any impact — therefore I should not feel guilty, frustrated or angry. Just accept it, set my boundaries and move on.
I made a salad and spaghetti for dinner tonight, I also did a load of laundry, hung it out to dry, put away other laundry, cleaned the bathroom, did the dishes…it was one of the most productive days in a long time! Having nice weather certainly helps matters, if you ask me.
Oh time to feed the cats before they start a riot.
Lastly, my leg is starting to feel better. I can walk on it now without looking funny, I can sit without pain but sneezing, couching, lifting it or moving suddenly still hurts. Still it’s much better than Sunday.