I had thought yesterday that it has been awhile since I posted india pictures and how I wanted to look at some of them again. I am so glad that I took as many pictures as I did, especially of the apartment we were in, because looking at them immediately brought me back there. I will be sad when I am done posting all of the india pictures…but then again probably relieved because there is so much other stuff I am letting pass by.

So what have I been doing? I don’t know. The same old stuff, with an addition of garage sale Thursdays with Lowen and Soren have returned. My big boast find this week was a complete farm train set for only $15 complete with instructions! I also got a bunch of Littlest Pet Shop stuff that I am not so proud about, but the girls love it and … well it was very very cheap. Last week I was excited to find a garage sale that was giving away children books. They said “we are happy to know they are finding a home.” Hurray! I got a ton of books, and I think I will pay that forward and give away the children’s books that the girls have outgrown at our garage sale in June. I have been going through the house finding more and more things to get rid off, or pass on.

We went to two powwwows and I feel the urge to try and make the girls an outfit, even though I am not convinced they will even dance if I am not dancing with them — and i don’t have an outfit. I was thinking of making Morella and Neeners a MLP themed fancy outfit, and then a leisure dress that they could dress up with necklaces and what not. The thing I don’t have a pattern for the dresses…even though I have made them before – -but only once. I don’t have my sewing machine set up, and blah blah excuse or another. One positive though, is that I am doing great on house projects because of my procrastinating. Once again, I really wish I had a powwow friend who wanted to make outfits with me who lived closer. I have a cousin who is in pretty much the same situation as me way up north but it is so far away! I did bring up the material tonight though. It was material from my grandmother, so it’s pretty old but in good condition.

Tomorrow there is a break dancing competition downtown that I am going to take the girls to. I want them to see real live, cool dancing up close instead of just on TV. Maybe inspire them a bit.

I saw the Avengers with Tim the other night. It was great! Lowen babysat the girls while we went out. I could get behind doing movie swap nights easily. I wasn’t able to reach my babysitter and haven’t heard from her. Never before did I ever dream I would worry so much about losing the best babysitter in the world. GAH! They are so hard to find.

The girls are cute and adorable and exasperating and messy and I love them. Oh I made some rhubarb pies and passed them around to friends.

Life has felt very full, but now at the end of the night when I am tired, I can’t think to write about it much. Though I have been doing a lot of personal writing — letters and journal entries. I am even onto a new journal, which always feels a little exciting to me. Morella filled up the first three pages with her “stories.” It’s a small, handmade journal so I was worried she would want to fill up a lot of the pages.

This was the candy that Morella and I liked best. I wish I knew the name of it.

Another great meal that I don’t know the name off. I do recognize lady fingers in the soup/mix thing though.

My stealthy photo of Benjamin who brought most of our food to us after the first week, and a sullen Morella complaining about nothing to eat. She was eating rice at that point. Let me just point out that the girl barely eats any american food! Ugh. Anyway, Benjamin came from two days travel for this job, and was 17 and about to take his exams of which were mostly in housekeeping, cooking, etc. I kept thinking how much he reminded me of my brother, and how much I wish my brother had his work ethic.

The one and only park we found — only open from 4:00 PM to evening.

Morella climbed the only slide, but backed off once she reached the top. I was secretly a little glad because she was wearing a dress, and the slide was in poor condition. Well, actually to be fair, I guess it was adequate since so much other stuff is broken down or unusable — and yet children still find a way to play.

A detail of the slide, of which I saw countless children go down quite happily. I will admit, I was a little shocked at the state of children’s playgrounds, when we were fortunate enough to even see one designated for them. They just don’t seem to be that popular.

One of the teeter totters (or see saws) that was functioning. Two of three were working, which I guess was good. Neeners wanted nothing to do with the riding of one of these though.

Another delicious meal not cooked by me.

Apparently most houses have a special room, about the size of a bathroom for altars. The apartment we were in had a cubby hole because it was more modern and a guest apartment. But it was there!

(an hour passes)

This my friends is why I haven’t posted in anything in so long. Sheesh. It was just used up catching up on journals I haven’t had a chance to read in days, helping the kids 3-4 times, and chatting here and there with the husband.

I took my first ever overnighter away from the girls this past weekend. It was the first time I have ever been separated from the two of them for longer than 9 hours. I was more nervous about this than I was taking them to Chennai! On Sunday I drove up to Menomonie with a short pit stop to pick up my brother Shane in Dells Dam. We arrived to my Mom’s where I left Shane and visited briefly before heading over to a surprise birthday party for my friend Myrna who was turning 70. She is such a wonderful, caring, energetic, thoughtful and humble woman that I couldn’t not be there. It was great to see her so happy at the surprise. I stayed for a couple hours and then headed back to my Mom’s to visit until 10:30. Then Shane and I left to check into the hotel. I dropped him off at the Den and headed back to visit Myrna and her wonderful family a bit longer. At 12:30 I left and joined Shane for a drink before begging of exhaustion. Even though we were back the hotel by 1:30, I didn’t get to sleep until 3:00.

Then I was up again at 7:45 to meet my old high school friends for breakfast at 8:00 at the nearby Perkins. Jess had arranged for a few extras to come and so I was very happy to share a table with some old school croonies, just like we did … uh … mumblesomething years ago. I stayed until almost check out time at the hotel talking and catching up. We checked out and I realized I had forgotten my red scarf I had gotten from India at Myrna’s, so we headed over there to pick it up. On the way out of town, we got a coffee from The Golden Leaf coffee house — which was not there when I lived in town. But of course, I lived in town a very long time ago. Then I drove my brother back to the homestead and drove home with one stop in Wisconsin Dells for some Dunkin Donut coffee and donuts to win back the children’s favor for leaving them.

I should mention that the night before I left I was awoke from sleep (in the office because Tim was snoring) to Neeners screaming from her room. She was having a rare nightmare and kept saying over and over “Don’t leave Mommy! Don’t leave us!” Not exactly the thing I needed to hear before leaving as I was nervous enough already. So I expected doom at every corner while at the same time trying to tell myself that prophecies are most often self actualized and to knock it off. I will say, that pulling out of Shane’s drive way after dropping him off, I almost got hit by a minivan going to fast. Yikes!

Over all — it was good to get away and see so many old and new friends, though it was exhausting. I didn’t have a minute to myself other than in the car.

Saturday we went as a family to the MATC powwow for a couple of hours and then headed to China Buffet for dinner. That place is so hit or miss — I barely found anything I wanted to eat, but the price is good. After that I put the kids to bed and headed back to the powwow to hang out with a friend for awhile more. It was a good time and I really, really want to get working on making the girls actual outfits instead of making excuses.

What else did I do? Oh I read a book. Rot and Ruin by Jonathan Mayberry. It took me two days — but it was all I wanted to do with my free time. It was a fun quick read. I found it in a section at the book store with a sign that said “If you like the Hunger Games, then consider this …..” Indeed, I considered a lot of those books.

OH I went to see the Hunger Games with my friend Lowen last Thursday. It is rare that I ever get a Thursday off because Tim has gaming, but he had been so busy with work that I had been single parenting quite a bit — which now explains to me where my blogging time disappeared too. Anyway, he cancelled his plans to go and let me off for the night, which I did right after Ho-Chunk language class. The movie was actually good and pretty true to the book. I was impressed.

So yeah, child rearing solo, reading, traveling and movie watching — that is what has taken up my time. For some reason it always seems like I am catching my breath from whatever it was that I just did. Is that what getting old is? Or is it just that I am a busier person than I like to admit?

Lastly, we have new neighbors to the left of us. They have two boys and moved in yesterday. Today the boys talked to Morella through the wire fence off and on. But really the best part is that Morella and Neeners call them “boys” and the younger one in particular “Boy.” It’s hilarious to hear Neeners yell from her sandbox “BOY! Blah blah blah.”

Then we went home, I cooked our dinner, folded some laundry I had done earlier and then put the girls to bed. I rode the exercise bike while watching Once Upon a Time, registered Morella for her first day camp, wrote and email and here I am writing about my day. Morella will be going to Summer Camp for one week, for three hours a day — her first schooling type experience. We think it will be good for her to get a little practice in before school starts in September. The focus for this camp is arts and crafts, so she will be in heaven. I hope. GAH!

Now if only I could feel like I can get myself out of this rut I feel like I am in. Oh and my stepdad called to say that my mother was in the hospital for a stomach infection. He didn’t say where, but for a ‘couple days.’ I hope she is out by the time I go up this weekend to visit — but if she isn’t then I guess I will see her in the hospital. She is usually never there longer than 3 days. Diabetes makes life hard, yo. I remember whenever she went to the hospital in the beginning that I would get freaked out and worried…but now it has happened so much, she always pulls through and is fine. I guess I just started thinking somewhere along the line that nothing can happen to her in the hospital. That the dangerous time is when she is at home and I get the phone call. Perhaps that came from what happened to my father. You just never know when or what is going to do you in. At least in the hospital, you have people around taking care of you.

(And yes, I realize that a hospital isn’t actually the safest place and is terrible for risk of infection, screw ups, etc…)

This weekend was good, as they usually are. On Friday Tim was volunteering for SQL Saturday so I took the girls over to our friend’s house for an impromptu pizza party. They were nice enough to let me escape for 30 minutes to do some quick grocery shopping for things like milk, cheese, flavored syrup and fruit. The girls were in bed by 9:30. The next day my brother and sister in law showed up at 7:00AM. Mark, the BIL went with Tim to the SQL Saturday. SIL Erica and nephew August stayed behind. August soon woke up the girls with his constant talking, laughing and puttering. This kid is so funny — I just can’t stop looking at him.

We went to the Children’s Museum, the Farmer’s Market, to Ella’s Deli (and left because the lines were too long) and ended up at Daisy Cafe and Cupcakery — where we waited entirely too long for everything. I am so not used to weekend restaurant warriors. I am accustomed to getting a parking spot in the parking lot, getting immediate seating and not waiting for anything regarding a food order. Then again that is because I most of my outings with kids during the week. When we do eat out on the weekend it is usually at chain restaurants where they are used to speedy and efficient service. After a very late lunch we went home and watched the season finale of My Little Pony – The Royal Wedding (which was great) while Auggie rested.

Sunday we had a lazy morning and then headed over to Lowen’s house for Soren’s 1st Birthday party. We stayed for a couple of hours and had some amazing cupcakes before heading over to Target to pick up some essentials, and Walmart fot NOT essential toys, then home again where we played for awhile before sending the kids to bed.

Ugh, I need to cook food today. I have some beef things ….and I don’t think it is too late to start up a crock up. It’s only 10:00….yeah I am going to make some beef stew I think — by scratch — which is to say, no recipe. So I guess it is more like “on the fly?” Hm.

I had read this article this past weekend, things overheard at playdates, and one of them was “Can you believe she can’t make cookies from scratch? What kind of mother is she?” It got me thinking about the definition of “from scratch.” I think most people think it means “not from a box or prepared.” But when I think of it, I think it also means “not from a recipe.” Because most people can follow a recipe…and in fact there is a recipe on the back of cake mixes and cookie mixes — so it isn’t like that is completely prepared either. Anyway, I think most people USE a recipe to guide them in their baking ways. Does that means they are extra talented because they can follow instructions? I don’t think so. Therefore the truly talented, award winning bakers go to those who can bake without a recipe — which is what I think the true meaning of “from scratch” should be.

I can make cookies and fruit pies without a recipe (including the pastry) but that doesn’t mean that it will always be good. I don’t think I am skilled enough to do any kind of breads, quick breads or cakes.

———————-

Street Goat. Goats were everywhere. It looks like this one was in a fence, but it is not — the fence was to keep the people out but apparently goats can go wherever they want.

Some of the stores that sprung up around tourist sights. I have to wonder if these are hotly contested and fiercely guarded pieces of property since it draws so many tourists from around the world.

A good example of how old, beautifully crafted buildings are surrounded by modern buildings and garbage and rubble. It’s is all very intertwined. I feel like if the white building were in the United States then the surrounding area would be well cared for and the building would be highlighted as ’something to see.’ Perhaps it is because we don’t have many buildings that are old, so when something makes it past the 150 mark we made a big deal out of it.

It was so hot. I kept thinking about how much better things would have been if I was dressed cooler, and Neeners wore a hat, and maybe some sunglasses so I didn’t have to work so hard at keeping her close and the sun off her head.

This is how all standing water looks, everywhere you go — at least if it is outside.

Neeners humored me for a while by posing — I wanted to do many more such poses but her good humor only lasted so long.

Neeners and I in a Tuk Tuk. It was the only time I rode in one and it was WAY overpriced because we are Western noobs, and it wasn’t even for very long. But the shade and slight breeze it created in between sights was heavenly after the brutal heat from the sun.

Stalls leading up to the beachfront next to the Shore Temple. The size of each stall was about 4×6 feet and each one was packed with stuff.

School girls on a field trip, looking at the brick a brack. Field trips were weekend excursions because they do not like to interfere with the academic work week. I am very glad that I grew up in a place where we got to go someplace cool during the school week.

I know that some of these seems like repeats — but they are now pictures from my camera. I had borrowed a couple images from my travel companion for a day earlier. I am also trying to systematically go through the photos I wanted to share from the very beginning so it would be easier for me to figure out what I did or did not post.

I read a bunch of articles yesterday because I felt like reading …. and found two that were nice and reassuring about my role as a SAHM. It gave me a few things to think about and feel a little more validated in what I do since there are so few stay at home Moms left (in which we don’t send our kids to day care/school for a portion of the day) or work part time. It is a two part series: Reclaiming Motherhood: When Staying At Home Means Having It All and Reclaiming Motherhood: What is the Value of a Mother?.

I have also been thinking about how restless I feel, and how quick to irritated I am getting when thinking about people — and I think I have narrowed down the problem. I have felt like this before, and upon some consideration I think it is because I have become entirely too reliant upon human interaction. I mean, I am surrounded by people all the time and there are times in your life when being very social is a huge part of daily life — but what happens when you quite doing hobbies and pursuing your own personal interests for a long time? I think this is what happens. I need to get back on the horse and find something to do that engages my creative side. While watching TV and movies and meandering around the internet is fun — it is a very passive way to pass the time. I want to be engaged in something where once I free minute I get excited and think “Awesome, now I can work on ______”. Instead of right now where it is “Okay, I got some free time! Uh…what should I do? Clean?”

Alright, I am taking the kids to the Children’s Museum for a few hours. The napping crowd should be leaving in about an hour….and the clouds are gathering.

____________________________

Das the “Guy Friday” or is “Man Friday”? Cooking up some fabulous prawns and flatbread.

These prawns are nothing like I have ever had in Wisconsin — it makes me believe in them. So flakey and flavorful.

Waiting for the driver outside of the Apartment — which is really a building sandwiched between two buildings…surrounded on all sides.

Elliot’s Beach. This was the second time we went — but the first time where everyone goes, it is later and it is so much more enjoyable.

Beach Dog

Swami and the girls. They girls really liked Swami and weren’t shy at all hanging out with him. Swami is one of the co-owners of the company that Tim works for, and the apartment we were in was his cousins.

As dusk approaches, the beach shore fills up.

Morella and Neeners playing in the sand.

Beautiful little Shashank — and Morella’s number #1 admirer.

Sun setting over Chennai.

Neeners showing off some ‘cool tricks.’

Dancing in the sand.

Morella slept in my bed last night after finally passing out at 10:00. I don’t get it. She was up at a decent time, took no naps and was yet up again super late! One night she didn’t even go to sleep until close to midnight. Seriously? This is what happens when everyone indulges in long afternoon naps. The whole sleep thing gets out of whack for days. Tim slept in Morella’s bed because she looked so “peaceful”. Oh well, no skin off my back because I slept fine from 10:12 to 8:30 this morning when I heard Neeners hurtle towards the bathroom.

I felt so crappy and crabby yesterday. Almost everything set me off — and testing the waters today I still feel a little sore thinking about some things, but it will pass. It is probably because my shoulder still hurts and it is cold, cloudy and very windy today. We did manage to leave the house to get a new electric lawnmower. We had a gas powered one before that lasted us 9 years. We gave it to our neighbor to work on for a small engines class he wants to take. I stopped at Culvers and cashed in a free scoop of frozen yogurt for the girls, and then we went grocery shopping. We picked a different grocery store to go to to mix things up and make it more interesting. Also because I know it wouldn’t be as busy at the other places — and so we ended up at Copp’s. It was full of bespeckled middle aged academic looking ladies who were obviously irritated that there were children in the store. Tim and I rated Copp’s as being a low “kid friendly” grocery store. After some more consideration we decided that Hy-Vee is really is the most kid friendly grocery store in Madison with their mini kid carts and rocket ships and race cars.

I went out on Saturday night with Emily to Plan B — and after almost a full night out, I am so very happy to not have to do that anymore. I admit it, I am old. Too old for that. I have a great husband, cuddly kids and a nice house filled with a thousand things I would rather be doing. At the end of the night I told Emily that I would rather just do online dating to get back out there instead of trawling that scene.

Last Friday we had a nice family, movie party. We went out and got some take home pizza, popcorn supplies, snacks and bought our first DVD movie “Alvin and the Chipmunks – The Squeakquel.” We set up the kids table, had some soda and sat back to enjoy a movie night party. The kids loved it, though I think Chipwrecked better. I imagine that it will be on sale somewhere for super cheap in a couple months. Maybe we will get it for Neeners birthday.

Anyway. I need to get out of my weekend funk and do something with this day. Change things around. I wonder what I should do? Probably clean. That seems to always be the first thing, if only because it makes me think of other things that I would rather be doing. I would also like to leave the house today and shop someplace big and spacious where we don’t have to go outside a lot. But we don’t need anything, I am just looking for a reason to get out and about and look at things. I could also visit. I wouldn’t mind visiting.

_____________________

I could do this in the summer to make some extra cash! I got enough kids stuff in the garage….

The huge pool at Chariot Beach Resort. Swimming to the middle of that in the afternoon…was amazing. It was Morella’s favorite place to be — I just wish there had been some shade options near the pool for the kids.

And maybe for me too — ouch! This sunburn was bad enough that it turned into a heat rash for the next week.

Crocodile Bank — hundreds upon hundreds of different crocodiles and alligators.

They also had a turtle display.

Tim’s favorite.

Don’t drop anything in here!

The girl in blue was introduced to Neeners and they followed us around for a little while before Neeners wanted nothing to do with taking pictures or having her cheeks pinched.

There was a few moments last week where I wondered how the heck I schedule myself so heavily, and have so many things to do for obligations I set up myself when most of the time I can’t tell you what I will be doing from one day to the next. Usually when people ask me what I do I evade the question because I honestly can’t answer it. Instead I blather on about how I am enjoying being a stay at home Mom during a time when the kids are more independent and how I feel slightly guilty about the time, but gosh darn it all! — I worked my ass off for the last four and half years! 24/7 — now is the twilight time before school starts that I can float from one week to the next.

Anyway. Last week I met up with a an college friend I hadn’t seen for 15 years. It was great! She was almost exactly the same and she said the same for me. We managed a good 3 hour talk at Cool Beans with the girls and a drop by hello from Hilary. Who I should have known would be there because it is her second living room. Later on I went to see John Carter (spotlight special only $5) with my friends husband. We had a lovely date. Ha ha ha. The movie was so so, of course the princess was beautiful, and I realized I am super cheap by bringing my own soda, candy and snacks stashed into my bag.

Thursday was a whirlwind day with Tim watching the girls plus Soren so that Lowen and I could head down to Chicago for an Ikea trip. I swear that place costs 2 hours of your life to just walk in the door. We spent 6 hours there looking at things and getting our stuff and only 20 minutes figuring out how to load it and get it in the car. That was with a short 20 minute lunch break and hurrying up through sections. Sheesh. I came home with two side dressers, two replacement book shelves, a red cube with 8 cubes, and new curtain rod systems, along with several storage bins, a lazy susan, paper and fancy canopy for the girls. I once saw in a magazine that suggested you hang it from a tree outside for a cute little fairy party, or hanging out spot for the girls. I have been hankering to try that every since I saw it. Since we were running late I called the baby sitter to see if she could come and relieve Tim so that he could make dinner and start his gaming night on time. She was available and all was saved. Whew!

Friday was spent watching the kids (Soren included) and putting together Ikea stuff that I realized the next day wasn’t a good idea to have spread all over the living room since I was throwing an Easter egg hunt/brunch the next day. I managed to put three structures together and integrate them into the house, clean the house, go shopping at Target and Woodman’s for supplies and set up all before midnight. Tim was great by getting the backyard together, helping me stuff eggs, and cleaning the bathroom. I also bought myself some valuable time by renting my first movie “On Demand” for $5.00 I rented Chipwrecked – the new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie. The girls have been bugging me about it for over a month and I thought “How bad could singing rodents be?” Thankfully it was great! Just the girls pace and I managed to get an unheard of (in this house) 4 viewing out of it before the 48 hour rental ended. They watched it back to back the first time and the once each subsequent day. I now believe it when people say their kids can watch a movie a bajillion times. Anyway, I got my money’s worth.

Saturday we had 11 kids total and 11 adults over for an easter egg hunt romp. The weather was absolutely beautiful and I made a pile of bacon, sausages, bagels (bought) and cheesy potatoes, which were well accompanied by everything else everyone brought. The party went well, everyone had fun and clean up was nice. I later went out by myself to get the “toy” for the girls easter basket — a unicorn and baby unicorn figurines (like those german scheiss animals) and a winged pegasus and fancy horse. I tried and tried to find another baby unicorn but there was only one. I think you guess who felt a little slighted at not getting one (Neeners) the next day. I did my best to play up the flying horse though. The rest of the basket was an easter book from clearance last year, stickers, chocolate fairy bunny, jelly beans, peanut butter cup bunnies and a flavored tootsie roll each. It wasn’t “Christmas Part II” which is okay with me. We hid the baskets this year and Morella did an outstanding job finding them on. Next year it will be much more challenging for her to find them. I look for …er the Easter Bunny looks forward to it.

Sunday was easter. We went out for brunch with Chuck, Kathleen and their daughter Daphne at the Original Pancake House. The place is great because that meal fed us 3 more times. Tim was off gallivanting around LaCrosse but came back in time for all of us to take an awesome afternoon nap. Then my neighbor came over with two giant stuffies — a duckie and a dog because she they are moving! NOOOOOooooO! We just lost our neighbor to the left and now we are going to lose our long time neighbor on the right? GAH! Please let the next people be nice and not have mean dogs, and not be loud and annoying. I will keep the stuffies until our garage sale in June and see if I can get rid of them. The girls don’t seem to care at all about them. If they had been giant unicorns, dolphins, or peacocks — then it would be a different story.

Today, after an hour long or so intense dance party in our living room, I took the girls to the Children’s Museum for a couple of hours, then visited Lowen and ate her food before heading home where I put together a tent for the girls while I put dresser together. Then we ate a dinner of combined leftovers, had a roof estimate done and put the girls to bed at 7:00. Morella got up at once point with a night terror, I watched a sitcom and realized I fucked up on the dresser and it couldn’t be fixed…but it is only a slight cosmetic thing that no one will probably ever notice. But I know it is there. When I came out of the room after having put it together, Tim had ganked the TV. OH well, I needed to write anyway.

And edit some photos.

Morella dressed up as a peacock for a birthday party two weeks ago. She had taken her tail off at this point…but the outfit was spectacular! It was this party that I started to notice that she has a longing to play with other kids but can’t seem to connect with any. I feel so bad for her because she is trying so hard.

Here she is at a party where she didn’t know anyone. She looked like that much of the whole way through. She said afterward that at her easter party she wasn’t going to talk to any new kids because she would be too busy playing with her friends. Thankfully, she didn’t do that and did play with one of the new kids a lot. Too bad they were boys. I wish I could find an age appropriate girl playmate for her.

The kids getting ready to find easter eggs! I have been putting hair bands in Neeners hair since then because I am convinced she is going to get the turtle neck syndrome by keeping her head cocked to look out from under her hair.

———-Chennai—————————

Fire Ant bites

Woman on Motor Bike

Girls in the car

The view from the balcony. I can’t tell you how many times I stepped outside to look at this sight and marvel that everything I was looking at was in India. It must have been at least a 100 times.

Morning prayers

“Lizards are so five minutes ago.”

I think if I were a kid there, I would have tried to catch one and keep it as a pet.

Though this is one of the most unflattering photos of me you will ever see me post …. I had to post it because it is the ONE picture where I can really see how much Neeners and I look alike. Okay…in this instant…we look alike. It’s eerie!

I have a headache. I thought about trying to write some thoughtful emails to people but then decided that since I can barely see the screen that I would ramble on in my journal, after all I am due for a post. Heck, every day I am due for one but have a low delivery rate on that. I took some aspirin earlier after the kids were in bed — thank goodness they went to bed at a decent time tonight after a no nap regime today. They still each got up once for various reasons that needed anywhere from 10-30 minutes of handling. I laid in bed for 45 minutes and tried to rest, but really formulated a plan in my head on how I was going to tackle doing taxes. It has been weighing me down since I got back from Chennai, and even more so after the girls tax preparer called me asking about their information. I couldn’t proceed on that until I did my own taxes…and did I mention I still have checks issued from last year for their tax refunds that I never dealt with properly. Oh and there is still a form for the estate that I am now a couple days over due. UGH! MAKE IT ALL STOP!

So yeah. I got up and charged into the office. I was proud of myself for reviewing bank and credit card statements to tally medical and home improvement expenses — only to find out later it didn’t matter. Oh and we are missing two tax forms — one of which could save us $38 bucks. Tim will have to call tomorrow to get a number and if he doesn’t then that is a $38 convenience fee on my part. I want all of this paperwork off my desk so I can focus on the important things, like throwing a brunch, easter egg get together on Saturday.

Sarah – Neeners UTI was normal. Well actually there was “flora” from “not wiping good enough” but otherwise no bacteria and no infection. I felt a little stung at not wiping her enough, but I dare anyone to do a good job with a screaming two year old who really has to go to pee. She was diagnosed with the vague “vaginosis” or “vaginitis” and just continue with no bubble baths and frequent bathing. That is hard too because now Neeners has entered that lovely stage in development where is afraid of anything. “A HAIR! There is a HAIR in the bathwater!” (I get it out) “There is STUFF in the bathwater!” (lint, etc…) Now I have to rinse the whole bath down completely before she takes a clear water bath to try and even get her in the tub. This is all stemming from a fear of bugs or any living creature that isn’t her dog, the cats or us. I miss bubbles already. They covered up stuff. So yeah, another wasted copay, but at least I know there is nothing wrong with Neeners other than she is two.

Morella, she is an angel, when she isn’t begging for someone to play with her and hurt that other kids won’t return her friendly overtures to play. I keep telling her that she is doing it all right. Being nice, saying hi, and asking if they want to play but that just most kids her age aren’t socially apt. It is a little disheartening for me, and I don’t know how I am going to handle the day when some kid is pointedly mean to her. I am glad that I throwing a get together this weekend with her friends, it should boost her confidence a bit. Oh I hope she meets a nice girl next year at school. She is such a sweet, caring, imaginative kid that may be a little oversensitive.

Oh and Neeners has also taken to voicing her opinion on whether or not she wants to go anywhere, what she wants to wear, how she wants to play blah blah blah. She didn’t even want to go to the easter egg hunt I was last minute invited to this past weekend. She opted instead to stay home with Tim and putz around in the back yard. Later on she volunteered to go with Tim to the grocery store, and the other day she wanted to go with me when Morella didn’t. Hm. Maybe she is looking for opportunities to have time away from her sister…is that possible at this age? I know Morella wants that time sometimes but usually only to do things that she knows I won’t do with Neeners, namely crafts.

On Thursday Tim very generously offered to watch Morella, Neeners and Soren for the day while my friend Lowen and I take a day trip to Ikea. I didn’t believe him when he first said it because I had a pretty rough week last week. However, he repeated his offer the next day and I asked Lowen when she wanted to go. So this Thursday, I am off for a dream day at Ikea! I was going to get the girls bunk beds, but after more consideration about Morella’s frequent night terrors — we decided to hold off longer. I do want two book shelves, and night stands and more fabric bins — not to mention swedish meatballs and desserts, as well as several car hours of uninterrupted adult conversation! The last time I had this much time to myself was over a year and half ago to meet with my brothers and the lawyer to discuss estate details. That wasn’t exactly fun…not like this is going to be. I am so excited.

One good thing about doing taxes is that the house is much cleaner for it. I had to go through all the piles of accumulated papers around the house and put everything away. I also reorganized the closest when we got our new recumbent exercise bike to make space. I have been hauling a bag of stuff for our garage sale in June (to be held at Lowen’s house) every other day. Okay, maybe not a bag of stuff…but stuff. I have a lot of stuff to get rid off.

Yeah, so I hope that funk I was in last week is gone for good. I am sick of feeling so lame and burnt out. I know I could blame it on jet lag — it really is much harder to come home than it was to go away, to being sick for part of that, and to reading a rather depressing book (Case Histories: A Novel by Kate Atkinson ) . I am looking forward to seeing what the other ladies in our book club thought of it since a good portion of it was about bad mothers and conflicting perceptions.

I didn’t think I would be able to go to sleep after that, feeling like a guilty mother and all for not being eternally patient with my crabby kid who can’t tell me what the heck is wrong with her. But I did, and was able to get an appointment for her today at 1:00. I was also able to go to go the clinic and get a UTI sample kit so that I can try and collect the pee before we head in. Just imagining how I would have gotten a sample at the clinic was a nightmare. We would have been there for hours upon agonizing hours. So I am on pee patrol this morning. Neeners is now enjoying a soda/apple juice cocktail in the hopes that she drinks it all up and wants to pee anytime in the next 2 1/2 hours.

OH poor Neeners. I was plagued with these as a kid and was constantly getting kidney infections because they were so stubborn. I hope that she doesn’t get those genes and that this was just a fluke because of the trip or potty training or whatever.

In other news, we went out to a Fish Fry on Friday with with some friends and a hired babysitter to keep the kids happy at home. It was great to get out and hang with friends even though the fish sucked. Afterwards Tim and I went and got smartphones. We have been waiting for a long time and had decided to do it after the India trip. So now we are the proud owners of smart phones — I feel like I finally understand so many more things that pop culture is doing. We also got a recumbent exercise bike with the extra money from Tim’s unused vacation that had to be paid out. So now I am working on reworking the living room to make room for us to become fabulously healthy people.

Then there is more estate paperwork I have to do, taxes need to be done, jet lag, rearranging and cleaning — all with an extremely needy Neeners that before last night I had no idea what her problem was. I guess I have been feeling a little overwhelmed. You know the kind, where the only way you can get anything done is in little bursts but the time spent between that is eternally long and yet quick. I did start to read a book I got for the next book club called Case Histories — that started out rather grim and sad. Not really the thing for helping with my overall mood, but it is nice to have a more constructive way to pass the time. Also I haven’t been able to kick the sinus remnants of that cold from two weeks ago. On top of it all, I have been just exhausted.

BLah blah blah. Complain complain complain, but I guess it is how I can break my blogging dry spell.

ETA – I did get a sample after much fighting and tears and went to the doctor. Her ears, throat, mouth, nose, blah blah look and sound fine. Now we are just waiting on the results of the tests with a “sitz” bath (plain baths) every day so far as a prescription. Sigh. Watch. The end result will be “Sorry Ma’am, there is nothing we can do for you. She is two.”

ETA Pt. 2: The doctor called back to say that the diluted sample was “slightly abnormal” and to wait on the 2 day culture before prescribing anything.
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